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I left home at 15; my story is complex, but abusive stepfather is the quick summary. It was the best thing I ever did. He forbade my mother and sister from seei
by curation 5y ago
I left home at 15; my story is complex, but abusive stepfather is the quick summary. It was the best thing I ever did. He forbade my mother and sister from seeing me and so I have not seen my mother who remains with him. I did meet my sister again, who had moved to England, 5 years ago. She is 9 years younger than me so we did not recognize eachother. She still is in contact with them and suffers anxiety and depression. I did years of therapy and healed via my work ( horror film maker/writer ). I have sisters and parents now that are not blood, but they mean more to me in a way because they are not obligated by social norms to support me. I hope that one day, when my stepfather is dead, I can again see my mother before she is. She is an interesting and brilliant person, but my connection to her is more like an old friend who I sadly fell out with.
- fzzzy 5y agoWow, healing this type of thing by writing horror. Thank you. I never really liked horror, but having experienced childhood trauma I think I understand how it helped you and may help me. Thanks. I really wish more people would actively create non-blood family. I had this once and it helped me tremendously. Seems I need to cultivate that again, but it is much harder where I live now.
- curation 5y agoMy relationship with horror, I associate with my childhood asthma. We did not have drug coverage so I did not have inhalers so from 4 I'd be up all night (1970s) watching TV. Horror movies were the only thing that distracted me, filled me with adrenaline, to unspiral my attacks. I was very allergic to cats; my stepfather's coke buddy had two Persian cats. The strangers who took me fomented in me hope for people in a way that I never would have had given my upbringing. Also, my mother was Lacanian child psych major and raised me without a Big Other etc. Told me, when I asked about church weddings on TV soap operas, what is it and she told me that it was just a silly TV thing. I believed this until I was fairly old. Cities - for example Toronto where I lived for 20 years - were hard to make friends in. At the same time, if you have always been urban, rural areas can be hard to parse socially. I really appreciate the non-judgment on horror. Thank you.
- fzzzy 5y agoThanks for sharing your story. It really helped me. I'm sorry to hear about your stepfather. In my case, I grew up rural, but when I lived in the bay area for 15 years I had a wonderful non-blood family. I am now back where I grew up and I enjoy it but it is hard being so lonely.
- curation 5y agoThe horror memoir book I wrote made me realize that part of the reason I am where I am - mostly content - is because of my stepfather. I sort of recoiled off him and, in that way, while my peers are in mid-life crisis I think folks like us had a early life crisis that can, if we are lucky to build a non-blood family, make the second half of life smooth. Thank you too!