"Idiots ruin things for everyone else." I think that sums it up nicely, and indeed was my main point. The female engineer we've worked with on a daily basis f

"Idiots ruin things for everyone else." I think that sums it up nicely, and indeed was my main point. The female engineer we've worked with on a daily basis for years, in a very friendly, cooperative and relaxed team. So very far from a stranger to us. She's one of us, basically. I'd agree that it would be incredibly unlikely that if we did make that compliment, anything bad would happen. But the fact that all five of us shut up regardless, I find telling. I guess it's math, in a way. If there's a 1% change of getting into trouble for trying to say this nice thing, not saying anything means the chance is 0%, so the better option. Yes, in the case of the feedback problem with the VCs, it was actually women taking issue with the lack of real critical feedback. They wanted it, they didn't want the muddied down overly protective version.