4 ms·
I dunno, I think it's better to just not comment on weight at all unless you're good friends. what if you're wrong and they actually gained weight since you las
by leetcrew 5y ago
I dunno, I think it's better to just not comment on weight at all unless you're good friends. what if you're wrong and they actually gained weight since you last saw them? or what if you're right and they have an eating disorder? either way it can take the interaction in the wrong direction, and you might not know it at the time.
in general, I think appearance-based compliments are best given sparingly and when you have enough context to be confident they will be received well. with strangers/acquaintances, compliments on skills or personality traits are much safer imo.
- whatshisface 5y agoWell, what if you're wrong? I don't think there's a penalty for revealing that you haven't noticed that they gained weight, if anything they'd be happy about it.
- leetcrew 5y agoif someone is mostly feeling secure about their appearance, it doesn't really matter. but weight can be a very sensitive subject, and you can't really know whether it is or isn't for someone you don't know well. in the worst case, comments about weight can be a trigger for people with eating disorders. it's just not worth it when there are plenty of other things you can compliment someone on. and btw, I'm not just talking about personal risk (eg, what if they report me to HR!?); it's also about being considerate of the other person. just because you intend something as an innocent compliment does not necessarily mean it is pleasant to receive.
- whatshisface 5y agoI guess what I am saying is that the chance of triggering an eating disorder is so much smaller than the chance of making someone mildly pleased that it makes the risk not important unless you are aware of a problem already.