7 ms·

> For example, in the US, many families that immigrated many years ago have changed the way their name was pronounced from its original heritage pronunciation

by koyote 5y ago

> For example, in the US, many families that immigrated many years ago have changed the way their name was pronounced from its original heritage pronunciation As a native German and French speaker, this is actually an issue for me. If I see a common German or French name, I do not actually know how it would be pronounced in English and it's very difficult for me to guess or get my head to think of that pronunciation in an 'English' way. This is especially difficult when talking about a third person who you might not know well/at all: "I think a John Dubois, based in the X Office, is tech lead for that service"

tasogare 5y ago
Except for obvious cases I go for the French or Alsatian pronunciation and let the person correct me. This is what English speakers are doing too after all. Conversely I don't take it personally when people mispronounce my names (given and family) the first time, especially since the family name is problematic even in France. That being said, it pisses me to no end when someone doesn't make any efforts after a given period of time (like my thesis director who still mispronounce it after 3 years, or can't align few letters properly).
dhosek 5y ago
I generally go with a native pronunciation unless told otherwise. So I would pronounce it John Dubwah, but I've learned that it's W.E.B. Du-boys. But the single most important thing to do is ask how to pronounce and keep trying to get it right. My wife's first name is a Mexican name with an ll in the middle that should be pronounced as j/y (most Spanish speakers don't really hear a difference between the two English phonemes so it's perfectly fine to use either in working towards the correct sound, but j is probably the better choice for most English speakers since y between vowels tends to disappear, at least in Midwestern pronunciation). It's really not a hard name to say, but it does take paying attention for one whole second and remembering something that's not in the standard repertoire of American first names so a huge number of people get it wrong and don't care or say things like, "can I call you — instead?" (the answer, of course, is NO, what the — is wrong with you, you lazy twit). Take the time to learn how people pronounce their names and give them the courtesy of getting it right. I doubt that most Croats, for example, will care if you don't pronounce č and ć differently, but if you insist on pretending that either makes a k or s sound, you will annoy them.
- apurtbapurt 5y ago
  So, it is really easy and almost no one manages to do it right even after instructions? And after failing to do it right after instructions, it is the other people who are arrogant for asking to use something they are able to pronounce, not you for insisting on making them uncomfortable? Names are just sounds people make when they want someones attention. Respect goes two ways.
  - SamBam 5y ago
    The sounds may be easy to pronounce. The people may just not be devoting the attention to remember it. They've been told it's "Isabeya," say, but they just keep forgetting it's not "Isabella." I would treat this as similar to forgetting someone's name. Yes, plenty of people have a "terrible memory for names," but at the end of the day it's a matter of respect. If you really care -- if it's someone who's becoming a friend, if it's someone you ought to know for your job, if it's someone who's been introduced to you five times -- it's on you to remember the name, unless you have a genuine neurological condition.
  - dhosek 5y ago
    The most basic form of respect is to get someone's name right. Or at least make the effort.

by koyote 5y ago

tasogare 5y ago

Except for obvious cases I go for the French or Alsatian pronunciation and let the person correct me. This is what English speakers are doing too after all. Conversely I don't take it personally when people mispronounce my names (given and family) the first time, especially since the family name is problematic even in France. That being said, it pisses me to no end when someone doesn't make any efforts after a given period of time (like my thesis director who still mispronounce it after 3 years, or can't align few letters properly).

dhosek 5y ago

I generally go with a native pronunciation unless told otherwise. So I would pronounce it John Dubwah, but I've learned that it's W.E.B. Du-boys. But the single most important thing to do is ask how to pronounce and keep trying to get it right. My wife's first name is a Mexican name with an ll in the middle that should be pronounced as j/y (most Spanish speakers don't really hear a difference between the two English phonemes so it's perfectly fine to use either in working towards the correct sound, but j is probably the better choice for most English speakers since y between vowels tends to disappear, at least in Midwestern pronunciation). It's really not a hard name to say, but it does take paying attention for one whole second and remembering something that's not in the standard repertoire of American first names so a huge number of people get it wrong and don't care or say things like, "can I call you — instead?" (the answer, of course, is NO, what the — is wrong with you, you lazy twit). Take the time to learn how people pronounce their names and give them the courtesy of getting it right. I doubt that most Croats, for example, will care if you don't pronounce č and ć differently, but if you insist on pretending that either makes a k or s sound, you will annoy them.

apurtbapurt 5y ago
So, it is really easy and almost no one manages to do it right even after instructions? And after failing to do it right after instructions, it is the other people who are arrogant for asking to use something they are able to pronounce, not you for insisting on making them uncomfortable? Names are just sounds people make when they want someones attention. Respect goes two ways.
- SamBam 5y ago
  The sounds may be easy to pronounce. The people may just not be devoting the attention to remember it. They've been told it's "Isabeya," say, but they just keep forgetting it's not "Isabella." I would treat this as similar to forgetting someone's name. Yes, plenty of people have a "terrible memory for names," but at the end of the day it's a matter of respect. If you really care -- if it's someone who's becoming a friend, if it's someone you ought to know for your job, if it's someone who's been introduced to you five times -- it's on you to remember the name, unless you have a genuine neurological condition.
- dhosek 5y ago
  The most basic form of respect is to get someone's name right. Or at least make the effort.