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We're lucky to have inherited a lovely garden that we've been doing our best to keep up with. Ever since my son was born, he's spent tons of time running around

We're lucky to have inherited a lovely garden that we've been doing our best to keep up with. Ever since my son was born, he's spent tons of time running around and exploring every section of it. My mom (grandma) and him spend lots of time finding insects, and making friends with them (COVID limited human friendships). He loves snails and will run outside after a rainfall to find the whole snail family. He'll say hi to the ants, and bumblebees. We love finding butterflies, and seeing the variety of birds in our garden. He's always been super gentle and interested in everything we showed him. He's close to 3 now, so he's exploring life & death. Previously, if we accidentally stepped on a snail, we'd hide it from him. Now, we talk it through and say "Oh no, we accidentally stepped on the snail! Let's apologize to snail and say sorry snail, I didn't mean to step on you. I'll try to be more careful next time." I use the opportunity to explain how the ants & wasps will come and eat the snail now to clean it up. That we try not to kill any insects, plants, or animals unless we plan to eat it. We have close family with a 5 year old that actually takes very much the opposite approach, even singing a song to kill the ants. Internally, I was horrified, but kept my mouth shut. My son picked it up and was deliberately stepping on ants the next time we were outside. I just reaffirmed the fact that this is the ants' home, and that we should be kind and not hurt ants like that. Can we apologize to the ants please? Now the ant's mama and daddy are going to be sad because they'll miss him, etc. He's young. I just want him to grow up appreciating and respecting all life. I figure if we can continue being kind to small life, it will extend to our friends as lockdowns lift. So far so good.

robbrown451 5y ago
That's good parenting on your part, in my opinion.
thaumasiotes 5y ago
> Now the ant's mama and daddy are going to be sad because they'll miss him Perhaps you could try to acculturate your son without deliberately lying to him. The only true claim this sentence makes is that, when you step on an ant, the ant's mother exists.
- robbrown451 5y ago
  Calling that a deliberate lie is not accurate, in my opinion. Do you think it is a lie to speak as if dolls and stuffed animals have feelings? (for that matter, do you think it is a lie to speak as if characters in a fictional movie have thoughts and feelings?) Pretend play is important. My seven year old understands the distinction between humans, bugs, and toys. But she still pretends, and uses the latter as "empathy practice." This is normal, healthy child development. There is a time and a place for reminding children that bugs probably don't have feelings per se, and that dolls and stuffies especially don't. If you remind them constantly, and never let them go into "pretend mode" without spoiling it with such reminders, let's just say I recommend you avoid situations that put you in much contact with kids.
kortilla 5y ago
> That we try not to kill any insects, plants, or animals unless we plan to eat it. How do you deal with termite infestations?

robbrown451 5y ago

That's good parenting on your part, in my opinion.

thaumasiotes 5y ago

> Now the ant's mama and daddy are going to be sad because they'll miss him Perhaps you could try to acculturate your son without deliberately lying to him. The only true claim this sentence makes is that, when you step on an ant, the ant's mother exists.

robbrown451 5y ago
Calling that a deliberate lie is not accurate, in my opinion. Do you think it is a lie to speak as if dolls and stuffed animals have feelings? (for that matter, do you think it is a lie to speak as if characters in a fictional movie have thoughts and feelings?) Pretend play is important. My seven year old understands the distinction between humans, bugs, and toys. But she still pretends, and uses the latter as "empathy practice." This is normal, healthy child development. There is a time and a place for reminding children that bugs probably don't have feelings per se, and that dolls and stuffies especially don't. If you remind them constantly, and never let them go into "pretend mode" without spoiling it with such reminders, let's just say I recommend you avoid situations that put you in much contact with kids.

kortilla 5y ago

> That we try not to kill any insects, plants, or animals unless we plan to eat it. How do you deal with termite infestations?