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Personally, I'm convinced that parasocial relationships are outcompeting social relationships. You can risk your ego putting yourself out there in real life, o

Personally, I'm convinced that parasocial relationships are outcompeting social relationships. You can risk your ego putting yourself out there in real life, or you can let a recommendation algorithm serve you content that gives you the feeling of being seen and understood without requiring any reciprocal vulnerability on your part.

maxerickson 5y ago
Do people on both sides of parasocial relationships feel seen and understood? I thought the definition there was people that gave attention to someone that doesn't return it?
- detaro 5y ago
  Doesn't really return it, but it feels that way for the viewer. A TV/Youtube/... personality feels familiar because parts of the brain don't care that the familiar tone, repeated in-jokes, ..., all the things that build familiarity, are not for the individual viewer specifically.
- Footkerchief 5y ago
  My perception is that people on the 'consumer' side of parasocial relationships do feel understood, and that that feeling is their main motivation for taking part in the relationship. The feeling is no less real for being the product of automated market research and micro-targeting, instead of personal intimacy.
  - analognoise 5y ago
    "The feeling is no less real for being the product of automated market research and micro-targeting, instead of personal intimacy." The most dystopian thing I've read all week.
  - WorldMaker 5y ago
    It's often a "marketing" distinction for some of the parasocial relationships how well those "providers" are seen at "responding to their community" and the "outlets for community engagement". It's also how many of those providers make large amounts of their revenue with "paid engagement activities" such as "shout-outs" or an illusion of affecting behavior ("I'll play the game you want me to play if you pay enough" or "On drunk nights enough micro-currency forces me to take a shot or do something embarrassing" or a wide creative range of other ideas).
cuddlybacon 5y ago
I think parasocial relationships have mostly been an attempt to fill the gap left by the lack of real friendships.
- pixl97 5y ago
  Why not both? The hyperreal is a hard landscape to navigate.
  - cuddlybacon 5y ago
    I put 'mostly' and not 'entirely' because I do think it is both.
- tolbish 5y ago
  Much like junk food being a substitute for a lack of real nutrition, what happens when the desire for real nutrition atrophies?
  - cuddlybacon 5y ago
    Some people just accept this attempted solution isn't going to fill the hole properly and stick with it anyways. Others may get frustrated enough to make an attempt to fix the problem for real, only to re-remember how much harder that is in our current society and re-remember why they reached for this attempted solution in the first place.
xg15 5y ago
The problem is that it's just that - the feeling of being seen and understood - the whole point is that there is no actual interaction with you. Depending on your life situation, you can keep up the delusion for quite a while and be happy with it (like the guy who happened an anime character) - things get problematic once you require some actual understanding and life advice. Even in interactive context, things are treacherous. Sure, you can have this online community who totally get you, who you can talk to about anything and get back compassion, support and useful advice - but do you have any idea who those people actually are, what their life situations are, what values they have and what views they are basing that advice on?

maxerickson 5y ago

Do people on both sides of parasocial relationships feel seen and understood? I thought the definition there was people that gave attention to someone that doesn't return it?

detaro 5y ago
Doesn't really return it, but it feels that way for the viewer. A TV/Youtube/... personality feels familiar because parts of the brain don't care that the familiar tone, repeated in-jokes, ..., all the things that build familiarity, are not for the individual viewer specifically.
Footkerchief 5y ago
My perception is that people on the 'consumer' side of parasocial relationships do feel understood, and that that feeling is their main motivation for taking part in the relationship. The feeling is no less real for being the product of automated market research and micro-targeting, instead of personal intimacy.
- analognoise 5y ago
  "The feeling is no less real for being the product of automated market research and micro-targeting, instead of personal intimacy." The most dystopian thing I've read all week.
- WorldMaker 5y ago
  It's often a "marketing" distinction for some of the parasocial relationships how well those "providers" are seen at "responding to their community" and the "outlets for community engagement". It's also how many of those providers make large amounts of their revenue with "paid engagement activities" such as "shout-outs" or an illusion of affecting behavior ("I'll play the game you want me to play if you pay enough" or "On drunk nights enough micro-currency forces me to take a shot or do something embarrassing" or a wide creative range of other ideas).

cuddlybacon 5y ago

I think parasocial relationships have mostly been an attempt to fill the gap left by the lack of real friendships.

pixl97 5y ago
Why not both? The hyperreal is a hard landscape to navigate.
- cuddlybacon 5y ago
  I put 'mostly' and not 'entirely' because I do think it is both.
tolbish 5y ago
Much like junk food being a substitute for a lack of real nutrition, what happens when the desire for real nutrition atrophies?
- cuddlybacon 5y ago
  Some people just accept this attempted solution isn't going to fill the hole properly and stick with it anyways. Others may get frustrated enough to make an attempt to fix the problem for real, only to re-remember how much harder that is in our current society and re-remember why they reached for this attempted solution in the first place.

xg15 5y ago

The problem is that it's just that - the feeling of being seen and understood - the whole point is that there is no actual interaction with you. Depending on your life situation, you can keep up the delusion for quite a while and be happy with it (like the guy who happened an anime character) - things get problematic once you require some actual understanding and life advice. Even in interactive context, things are treacherous. Sure, you can have this online community who totally get you, who you can talk to about anything and get back compassion, support and useful advice - but do you have any idea who those people actually are, what their life situations are, what values they have and what views they are basing that advice on?