Yes, defining a boundary of what you're willing to put up with is vital when someone you love is being self-destructive. That is knowing what you are going to

Yes, defining a boundary of what you're willing to put up with is vital when someone you love is being self-destructive. That is knowing what you are going to do, and when, and communicating that to your partner. It is not about controlling what they do, which is what the wording of "let your wife" implies (whether intentionally or not).