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There was a time when family members intervened when they saw loved ones engaging in self-harm. This husband is watching his wife expose herself to trauma so g

There was a time when family members intervened when they saw loved ones engaging in self-harm. This husband is watching his wife expose herself to trauma so great that she feels compelled to seek therapy, a therapy provided by the same corporation that is profiting off her trauma. The easy conclusion is that the corporation provides this therapy to keep the traumatized people who drive the company's profits from quitting the trauma, which would be the obvious solution. Loving someone does not mean supporting their every decision, especially when everyone involved seems to realize that the decision is harmful.

anotherman554 5y ago
"There was a time when family members intervened when they saw loved ones engaging in self-harm." Some people would call removing you loved one's agency to make their own decisions abuse.
- MillenialMan 5y ago
  Those people are stuck in a legalistic framework that privileges labels above reality.
- monkeybutton 5y ago
  I agree that the question further up did come off as rather paternalistic in a bad way but their central point has merit: by continuing to support his wife's decision to work in that environment, doesn't that make him an enabler for the abuse?
  - NateEag 5y ago
    It's not clear to me how the OP has interacted with his wife in reality, and I don't have interest in judging them. In the abstract, though, I think yes, if you see someone being abused repeatedly and you support and encourage them to continue going back to the abusive relationship, you are enabling the abuse.
  - anotherman554 5y ago
    I think your question presumes among other things that the wife has better career options and/or no need for money, or we have a better idea than the wife what career is best for her. I don't think any of us have any idea what the facts of the situation is. So it's not clear to me anyone is "enabling" anything.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
NateEag 5y ago
I firmly agree the OP should encourage his wife to stop engaging in self-destructive behavior. (I also believe sex work is necessarily self-destructive, as it commodifies, commercializes and depersonalizes the closest, most intimate way of relating to and bonding with another human that we have.) Your phrasing of "why do you let your wife..." implies OP can and should control whether his wife does this self-destructive behavior. He can't, literally, and he should not try to. He is responsible for his choices, not hers. Yes, if he sees this as hurting her and he's not trying to persuade her to stop doing it, he's responsible for that inaction on his part, and I'd say he should take action. But, he needs to always remember he does not and should not control her.

anotherman554 5y ago

"There was a time when family members intervened when they saw loved ones engaging in self-harm." Some people would call removing you loved one's agency to make their own decisions abuse.

MillenialMan 5y ago
Those people are stuck in a legalistic framework that privileges labels above reality.
monkeybutton 5y ago
I agree that the question further up did come off as rather paternalistic in a bad way but their central point has merit: by continuing to support his wife's decision to work in that environment, doesn't that make him an enabler for the abuse?
- NateEag 5y ago
  It's not clear to me how the OP has interacted with his wife in reality, and I don't have interest in judging them. In the abstract, though, I think yes, if you see someone being abused repeatedly and you support and encourage them to continue going back to the abusive relationship, you are enabling the abuse.
- anotherman554 5y ago
  I think your question presumes among other things that the wife has better career options and/or no need for money, or we have a better idea than the wife what career is best for her. I don't think any of us have any idea what the facts of the situation is. So it's not clear to me anyone is "enabling" anything.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]

NateEag 5y ago

I firmly agree the OP should encourage his wife to stop engaging in self-destructive behavior. (I also believe sex work is necessarily self-destructive, as it commodifies, commercializes and depersonalizes the closest, most intimate way of relating to and bonding with another human that we have.) Your phrasing of "why do you let your wife..." implies OP can and should control whether his wife does this self-destructive behavior. He can't, literally, and he should not try to. He is responsible for his choices, not hers. Yes, if he sees this as hurting her and he's not trying to persuade her to stop doing it, he's responsible for that inaction on his part, and I'd say he should take action. But, he needs to always remember he does not and should not control her.