4 ms·

>people are free to do what they'd like Your post seems to suggest you would not be happy for your kids to do what they like when they get older. Often people

>people are free to do what they'd like Your post seems to suggest you would not be happy for your kids to do what they like when they get older. Often people seem to be happy for other peoples children to do what they like but not theirs. To me this seems like the wrong attitude towards ones neighbours. There's 2 options therefore, for me, if I am honest with my family: disapprove of porn as a life choice or approve and encourage it including for one's own children. I think most parents around the world would choose the first option, but the second is gaining in popularity and acceptability especially in the west.

krzrak 5y ago
> Often people seem to be happy for other peoples children to do what they like but not theirs. To me this seems like the wrong attitude towards ones neighbours. I think you miss the important concept, that people can have different world views and different things might be acceptable to them. So I may not approve my kids/family/myself doing something, living some kind of lifestyle, but I accept that there are people who have different values and it's OK for me (as long as it doesn't infringe my freedom, of course). Otherwise, we have religious fundamentalism.
- MrBuddyCasino 5y ago
  > I accept that there are people who have different values and it's OK for me Your children do not grow up in a vacuum. You as parents have limited influence, the society they grow up in is having at least an equal impact. You cannot successfully transmit values such as "porn is bad" if everyone around you, the media and the teacher in school is telling your kids the opposite. Humans to not get raised and live in isolation or a vacuum, society matters. A lot. > Otherwise, we have religious fundamentalism. If you extrapolate your point of view, hopefully finding that is destined to fail, you will have made the first step in realising why religions exist.
golergka 5y ago
> Often people seem to be happy for other peoples children to do what they like but not theirs. To me this seems like the wrong attitude towards ones neighbours. That strikes me as odd. There are some areas of life that have competition on them. I accept the fact that there are "losers" in life, but I want my kids to be "winners". I love my kids more than I love others, and want better things for them — who wouldn't? (I specifically don't mention porn here, because I don't make a point about porn, but rather about being happy for other children to do something but not mine. Also, I put "winners" and "losers" in quotes because obviously it's a very primitive description of reality, and I actually don't think of sex workers as "losers").
- thinkingemote 5y ago
  Do you want your neighbors to be winners too?
  - golergka 5y ago
    If it's not a zero-sum game, sure. But there's plenty of different games in life, and humans are inherently social animals — even when we do not compare ourselves with others, others do. So, I don't want my neighbours to starve or die, but I do want my kids to be more successful than they are.
michaelt 5y ago
People make choices I wouldn't recommend all the time. I don't recommend becoming a single parent at 16 and dropping out of school. But I can respect the strength, determination and shouldering of responsibilities. I don't recommend joining the army and getting shot at in some afghan village at some septuagenarian senator's say-so. But I can respect people who choose to serve. I don't recommend taking on a lifetime of debt to get the absolute best education in poetry. But I can respect someone who's dedicated their life to mastering an art, and honed their skills far beyond anything I could achieve.
- Joker_vD 5y ago
  > But I can respect the strength, determination and shouldering of responsibilities. Ah, yes, creating the problems for yourself and then heroically prevailing over them, how very commendable. Many people seem to expect that they will be somehow rewarded, one way or another, for their self-sacrifice, but of course they don't: "sacrifice" is just something you throw away; if you were supposed to get something in return, it'd have been called "price".
  - scrollaway 5y ago
    > creating the problems for yourself and then heroically prevailing over them, how very commendable. Such an arrogant comment. Not only did you completely miss the point of the GP's post, but you're showcasing a bunch of disdain for people simply making mistakes and fixing them. I have no words. None that abide by the guidelines, at least.
    - tharne 5y ago
      > Such an arrogant comment. It's not an arrogant comment, it's common sense. It's much better not to do dumb things than to do dumb things and then try to fix it. Yes, it's good to fix one's mistakes, but that doesn't mean we should be celebrating those mistakes. It reminds me of George W. Bush bragging about the success of the "surge" many years into the Iraq war, and I remember thinking, "What a man-child, this guy wants a prize for making a disastrous decision that a bunch of people specifically warned him not to make, and then taking steps to make it slightly less of a hot mess".

krzrak 5y ago

> Often people seem to be happy for other peoples children to do what they like but not theirs. To me this seems like the wrong attitude towards ones neighbours. I think you miss the important concept, that people can have different world views and different things might be acceptable to them. So I may not approve my kids/family/myself doing something, living some kind of lifestyle, but I accept that there are people who have different values and it's OK for me (as long as it doesn't infringe my freedom, of course). Otherwise, we have religious fundamentalism.

MrBuddyCasino 5y ago
> I accept that there are people who have different values and it's OK for me Your children do not grow up in a vacuum. You as parents have limited influence, the society they grow up in is having at least an equal impact. You cannot successfully transmit values such as "porn is bad" if everyone around you, the media and the teacher in school is telling your kids the opposite. Humans to not get raised and live in isolation or a vacuum, society matters. A lot. > Otherwise, we have religious fundamentalism. If you extrapolate your point of view, hopefully finding that is destined to fail, you will have made the first step in realising why religions exist.

golergka 5y ago

> Often people seem to be happy for other peoples children to do what they like but not theirs. To me this seems like the wrong attitude towards ones neighbours. That strikes me as odd. There are some areas of life that have competition on them. I accept the fact that there are "losers" in life, but I want my kids to be "winners". I love my kids more than I love others, and want better things for them — who wouldn't? (I specifically don't mention porn here, because I don't make a point about porn, but rather about being happy for other children to do something but not mine. Also, I put "winners" and "losers" in quotes because obviously it's a very primitive description of reality, and I actually don't think of sex workers as "losers").

thinkingemote 5y ago
Do you want your neighbors to be winners too?
- golergka 5y ago
  If it's not a zero-sum game, sure. But there's plenty of different games in life, and humans are inherently social animals — even when we do not compare ourselves with others, others do. So, I don't want my neighbours to starve or die, but I do want my kids to be more successful than they are.

michaelt 5y ago

People make choices I wouldn't recommend all the time. I don't recommend becoming a single parent at 16 and dropping out of school. But I can respect the strength, determination and shouldering of responsibilities. I don't recommend joining the army and getting shot at in some afghan village at some septuagenarian senator's say-so. But I can respect people who choose to serve. I don't recommend taking on a lifetime of debt to get the absolute best education in poetry. But I can respect someone who's dedicated their life to mastering an art, and honed their skills far beyond anything I could achieve.

Joker_vD 5y ago
> But I can respect the strength, determination and shouldering of responsibilities. Ah, yes, creating the problems for yourself and then heroically prevailing over them, how very commendable. Many people seem to expect that they will be somehow rewarded, one way or another, for their self-sacrifice, but of course they don't: "sacrifice" is just something you throw away; if you were supposed to get something in return, it'd have been called "price".
- scrollaway 5y ago
  > creating the problems for yourself and then heroically prevailing over them, how very commendable. Such an arrogant comment. Not only did you completely miss the point of the GP's post, but you're showcasing a bunch of disdain for people simply making mistakes and fixing them. I have no words. None that abide by the guidelines, at least.
  - tharne 5y ago
    > Such an arrogant comment. It's not an arrogant comment, it's common sense. It's much better not to do dumb things than to do dumb things and then try to fix it. Yes, it's good to fix one's mistakes, but that doesn't mean we should be celebrating those mistakes. It reminds me of George W. Bush bragging about the success of the "surge" many years into the Iraq war, and I remember thinking, "What a man-child, this guy wants a prize for making a disastrous decision that a bunch of people specifically warned him not to make, and then taking steps to make it slightly less of a hot mess".