4 ms·

Lots of negative comments here but the author's personal experience resonates with my own. I would add that I found it personally stifling to be in an environm

by cowpig 5y ago

Lots of negative comments here but the author's personal experience resonates with my own. I would add that I found it personally stifling to be in an environment where there's a lot of pressure to be constantly upbeat and positive. It feels related to the culture of competition, but not feeling free to express anything negative made me feel socially suffocated when I was in California. Maybe it's in part because I grew up in an environment where sardonic humor was a go-to coping mechanism, but pretending that bad things aren't there makes me feel worse about them. I think there's a balance to be had: I'm grateful that the experience forced me to think more about when I use negative humor (or just complaining/saying negative things that aren't funny), how it can affect people in different ways based on their personal backgrounds and personality. But I don't think California is for me.

oceanghost 5y ago
I live in So Cal, but, I remember getting an unusual activity alert for my Amex-- someone had just charged $2000. I step into a conference room to call my wife to ask if she had done it, and she says, "Yes, it was a retainer, I'm divorcing you." The weirdest thing was going back to work and pretending nothing was going on. I was dead inside for two weeks at least. Couldn't take time off. Couldn't afford to quit. Just had to sort of sit there and pretend everything was fine.
- effingwewt 5y ago
  That's so rough. I lost my dog while in training for a job as a young man. I stayed through tears to finish this stupid test as I had been told if we left we would be fired no questions asked during the training and OJT part of intake which was about one month. I was supremely pissed when I saw people being allowed to leave/not show up for various reasons with no problem. My dog had been my best friend for my entire life until that point and I was broken inside. I decided to never again let a job come between my life and my happiness/health. No job I've ever had was worth that, even when I owned my own company. My ex-wife did me dirty, ended up closing up shop to focus on getting myself right. Still think it was the right decision. I hope you are in a better place now, but if not, you'll get there.
  - oceanghost 5y ago
    This was a long time ago and I've had many heartbreaks since then but I think your advice is very good. Thank you for the kind words. And believe me I understand "the ex-wife did me dirty" :-)

by cowpig 5y ago

oceanghost 5y ago

I live in So Cal, but, I remember getting an unusual activity alert for my Amex-- someone had just charged $2000. I step into a conference room to call my wife to ask if she had done it, and she says, "Yes, it was a retainer, I'm divorcing you." The weirdest thing was going back to work and pretending nothing was going on. I was dead inside for two weeks at least. Couldn't take time off. Couldn't afford to quit. Just had to sort of sit there and pretend everything was fine.

effingwewt 5y ago
That's so rough. I lost my dog while in training for a job as a young man. I stayed through tears to finish this stupid test as I had been told if we left we would be fired no questions asked during the training and OJT part of intake which was about one month. I was supremely pissed when I saw people being allowed to leave/not show up for various reasons with no problem. My dog had been my best friend for my entire life until that point and I was broken inside. I decided to never again let a job come between my life and my happiness/health. No job I've ever had was worth that, even when I owned my own company. My ex-wife did me dirty, ended up closing up shop to focus on getting myself right. Still think it was the right decision. I hope you are in a better place now, but if not, you'll get there.
- oceanghost 5y ago
  This was a long time ago and I've had many heartbreaks since then but I think your advice is very good. Thank you for the kind words. And believe me I understand "the ex-wife did me dirty" :-)