I remember when I first learned of MySQL’s triggers I immediately thought that it might be fun to use them to implement a microcontroller or even a full compute

I remember when I first learned of MySQL’s triggers I immediately thought that it might be fun to use them to implement a microcontroller or even a full computer emulator. A table with registers, a table for RAM, etc. If it was x86 or ARM or some such then I could compile Linux on it and then run MySQL inside of that!