4 ms·

It's a male thing, nothing to do with poverty.

mattgreenrocks 5y ago
I heard by his referred to jokingly as the Real Man Starter Kit, aka the set of values that everyone thinks are requisite.
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
taneq 5y ago
This isn't an inherently male trait, it's something that's done to boys from an early age in some societies. Men are conditioned to behave this way from an early age, and IMO it's a great tragedy.
- golemiprague 5y ago
  How do you come to the conclusion it is taught and why do you think it is a tragedy? I find endless discussion of things is useless and not helpful, that's why men do most the important stuff while women mainly discuss it endlessly without adding anything valuable and useful. Keeping your emotions in check and not whinging is a virtue, not a tragedy.
- op00to 5y ago
  This this this. I talk about my good and bad emotions with my sons and they realize it’s ok to have emotions rather then outbursts or tantrums. My parents messed me up good, but I am smart enough to end that cycle.
- yupper32 5y ago
  As a male who identifies with this trait, why? Most emotions seem to just hold you back. Why cry about a situation when you should more likely focus your energy into finding a solution? For me it's not that emotions are so much "swallowed in silence and not talked about"... it's that they're fundamentally not useful. If I'm stressed out or sad or etc about something, that's something to be solved, not something to be sad about. Why be sad about something you can either solve or ignore? To put it another way: You can either solve it or you can't. If you can solve it, do so. If you can't, why put energy/emotion into it?
  - Treegarden 5y ago
    Because you carry those bad emotions with you then as baggage instead of getting over them. And then they will bias your character and the decisions you do. So your life wont be run by you, but by the hidden subconscious emotional baggage that you carry. Its like with fears, you have to face them to overcome them and then the rest is easy
    - yupper32 5y ago
      > Because you carry those bad emotions with you then as baggage instead of getting over them. That's only if you have those emotions to begin with. It's very reasonable to train yourself to not have those emotions and therefore not carry that baggage. And that doesn't mean being a brick wall. That just means not caring as much. Going with the flow. Being happy regardless. However you want to word it.
  - tinco 5y ago
    This only works as long as those emotions are not hitting your core. I don't often feel affected strongly by emotions, I'm pretty sure the last time I cried for myself (and not over something that happened to someone else) is well over 10 years ago. But that's just because nothing truly bad happened to me. Or at least, nothing bad enough to make me pity myself. Just that nothing has forced me to put energy/emotion in it, that hurt my ego enough that I'd feel worse about myself. I think it's naive to believe that something like that could never happen to you, and it happens regularly to people around you. The universe is ruthless and cruel, and we are often helpless in the face of it. Sure some people are stronger, and some are weaker, but everyone could be broken. Many people value different things. My girlfriend might cry if she thinks a person she met didn't like her. I'd never cry over such a thing, but that's because I don't value myself as a likeable person as much as she does. If she wouldn't cry about it, she'd feel worse as a person and I wouldn't know, and I wouldn't comfort her. Anyway, to answer the question, because being emotional and sharing those emotions could help them deal with their pain or frustration. It's not good if we've got all these people walking around with their pain and frustration and no healthy outlet.
    - 5y ago
- em-bee 5y ago
  so parent is right, in some societies it's a male thing. it's cultural, but that doesn't negate the statement. and it doesn't have anything to do with poverty

I heard by his referred to jokingly as the Real Man Starter Kit, aka the set of values that everyone thinks are requisite.

deleted 5y ago

[deleted]

taneq 5y ago

This isn't an inherently male trait, it's something that's done to boys from an early age in some societies. Men are conditioned to behave this way from an early age, and IMO it's a great tragedy.

golemiprague 5y ago
How do you come to the conclusion it is taught and why do you think it is a tragedy? I find endless discussion of things is useless and not helpful, that's why men do most the important stuff while women mainly discuss it endlessly without adding anything valuable and useful. Keeping your emotions in check and not whinging is a virtue, not a tragedy.
op00to 5y ago
This this this. I talk about my good and bad emotions with my sons and they realize it’s ok to have emotions rather then outbursts or tantrums. My parents messed me up good, but I am smart enough to end that cycle.
yupper32 5y ago
As a male who identifies with this trait, why? Most emotions seem to just hold you back. Why cry about a situation when you should more likely focus your energy into finding a solution? For me it's not that emotions are so much "swallowed in silence and not talked about"... it's that they're fundamentally not useful. If I'm stressed out or sad or etc about something, that's something to be solved, not something to be sad about. Why be sad about something you can either solve or ignore? To put it another way: You can either solve it or you can't. If you can solve it, do so. If you can't, why put energy/emotion into it?
- Treegarden 5y ago
  Because you carry those bad emotions with you then as baggage instead of getting over them. And then they will bias your character and the decisions you do. So your life wont be run by you, but by the hidden subconscious emotional baggage that you carry. Its like with fears, you have to face them to overcome them and then the rest is easy
  - yupper32 5y ago
    > Because you carry those bad emotions with you then as baggage instead of getting over them. That's only if you have those emotions to begin with. It's very reasonable to train yourself to not have those emotions and therefore not carry that baggage. And that doesn't mean being a brick wall. That just means not caring as much. Going with the flow. Being happy regardless. However you want to word it.
- tinco 5y ago
  This only works as long as those emotions are not hitting your core. I don't often feel affected strongly by emotions, I'm pretty sure the last time I cried for myself (and not over something that happened to someone else) is well over 10 years ago. But that's just because nothing truly bad happened to me. Or at least, nothing bad enough to make me pity myself. Just that nothing has forced me to put energy/emotion in it, that hurt my ego enough that I'd feel worse about myself. I think it's naive to believe that something like that could never happen to you, and it happens regularly to people around you. The universe is ruthless and cruel, and we are often helpless in the face of it. Sure some people are stronger, and some are weaker, but everyone could be broken. Many people value different things. My girlfriend might cry if she thinks a person she met didn't like her. I'd never cry over such a thing, but that's because I don't value myself as a likeable person as much as she does. If she wouldn't cry about it, she'd feel worse as a person and I wouldn't know, and I wouldn't comfort her. Anyway, to answer the question, because being emotional and sharing those emotions could help them deal with their pain or frustration. It's not good if we've got all these people walking around with their pain and frustration and no healthy outlet.
  - 5y ago
em-bee 5y ago
so parent is right, in some societies it's a male thing. it's cultural, but that doesn't negate the statement. and it doesn't have anything to do with poverty