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A decade ago when I did leadership training one of the key exercises was developed so that you could demonstrate to yourself that happiness is a choice. Happine

by hyperion2010 5y ago

A decade ago when I did leadership training one of the key exercises was developed so that you could demonstrate to yourself that happiness is a choice. Happiness doesn't come from anywhere outside of you, it comes from you. You could be sad or angry that something bad happened, or you could be happy that something worse did not happen, or that you are still alive, etc. You can be sad that someone is dead, but happy to have known them and gotten to share moments in life with them. The hard part is practising until your brain believes it.

rohan_ 5y ago
This doesn’t make any sense - are people who are suffering from depression “choosing” to be depressed ?
- duncan-donuts 5y ago
  As a person with depression I really, truly wish I could just choose to be happy.
  - milesvp 5y ago
    As someone with a family history of depression, one of the things that I've learned, is that chasing happiness is often a mistake. Better to look for contentment. I know it may not mean much from a random internet stranger, but some of the things we talk about in my family, to avoid some of the potential mental issues, are: never get too tired, too hungry or too lonely. The list should probably include some other things like never get too sedentary, but we've tended to talk about exercise seperately. These I've found are necessary, though maybe not sufficient for good mental health. Sadly, most of this advice is to avoid the deep spiral which can be incredibly hard to come back from. Mental health is hard, and taking care of yourself can be much harder than people make it to be. Please take care of yourself as best you can.
    - hyperion2010 5y ago
      As a child my mother taught me HALT! Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. It has served me so well by itself that it was not until today that I went and looked it up and saw that it is widely known and used, though perhaps not as widely is it could be.
- nawgz 5y ago
  I think that reading about meta-level thinking & decision making and bad-faith railroading that as implying chemical balances within the body don’t exist is pretty silly. Surely you could have taken a different meaning quite easily.
- HarryHirsch 5y ago
  In his world they are - they could reflect on the fact that they do not have Morbus Huntington and the fact that they fail do to so and be happy, that's on them. It's the Just World theory, the secular version of the heresy of Predestination. (The heresy bit, that's actually serious, the poster speaks false dogmata.) Now pass a bucket, I'm going to throw up because of the unctuous self-righteousness.
  - hyperion2010 5y ago
    Please see my other comment. There is absolutely no expectation that it is possible to simply think ones way out of depression. Having already said enough that can be misinterpreted I will say only that clinical depression (and many other diagnoses) fall into a different category. The attempts by various parts of society to pretend that either there is no such thing as "normal" or that everyone is "normal" have done unspeakable harm to individuals where to the best of our scientific and medical knowledge there IS a difference. It is quackery, bordering on murderous intent to think that, much less tell someone with depression that they should just think happy thoughts.
- gremloni 5y ago
  Unless it’s a tiny percentage of people that have a severe chemical imbalance, absolutely.
- hyperion2010 5y ago
  My original comment does not cover depression. Without going into the underlying biology, it is safe to say that it is exceedingly rare for individuals with depression to be able to break out, because there are biochemical or structural changes in the brain that require either substantial changes in the individual's environment, or clinical intervention to overcome. There is also a fundamental difference between the experience of feeling happy and viewing something from a positive perspective. Even someone with depression could choose a positive interpretation for an potentially saddening event, but that choice alone would be unlikely to result in the experience of happiness, precisely because depression impacts the very ability to experience happiness, it is something more fundamental. There is also the question of whether depression makes it difficult to pick positive interpretations for events, but that is orthogonal to the point here.
  - soco 5y ago
    Your original comment could be the record holder for misunderstandings potential. And mentioning leadership training only made it worse, given the current ballyhoo of positivity and coaching and whatnot. Thank you for this second comment, it was heavily needed.
HarryHirsch 5y ago
You can't have enough contempt for that culture-bound crap.
mgh2 5y ago
Nobody "chooses" anything, the belief in agency is a myth from the rich, resulting in victim blaming. https://m-g-h.medium.com/free-will-a-rich-fairy-tale-4fecf8095812 https://m-g-h.medium.com/free-will-a-rich-fairy-tale-4fecf80...

rohan_ 5y ago

This doesn’t make any sense - are people who are suffering from depression “choosing” to be depressed ?

duncan-donuts 5y ago
As a person with depression I really, truly wish I could just choose to be happy.
- milesvp 5y ago
  As someone with a family history of depression, one of the things that I've learned, is that chasing happiness is often a mistake. Better to look for contentment. I know it may not mean much from a random internet stranger, but some of the things we talk about in my family, to avoid some of the potential mental issues, are: never get too tired, too hungry or too lonely. The list should probably include some other things like never get too sedentary, but we've tended to talk about exercise seperately. These I've found are necessary, though maybe not sufficient for good mental health. Sadly, most of this advice is to avoid the deep spiral which can be incredibly hard to come back from. Mental health is hard, and taking care of yourself can be much harder than people make it to be. Please take care of yourself as best you can.
  - hyperion2010 5y ago
    As a child my mother taught me HALT! Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. It has served me so well by itself that it was not until today that I went and looked it up and saw that it is widely known and used, though perhaps not as widely is it could be.
nawgz 5y ago
I think that reading about meta-level thinking & decision making and bad-faith railroading that as implying chemical balances within the body don’t exist is pretty silly. Surely you could have taken a different meaning quite easily.
HarryHirsch 5y ago
In his world they are - they could reflect on the fact that they do not have Morbus Huntington and the fact that they fail do to so and be happy, that's on them. It's the Just World theory, the secular version of the heresy of Predestination. (The heresy bit, that's actually serious, the poster speaks false dogmata.) Now pass a bucket, I'm going to throw up because of the unctuous self-righteousness.
- hyperion2010 5y ago
  Please see my other comment. There is absolutely no expectation that it is possible to simply think ones way out of depression. Having already said enough that can be misinterpreted I will say only that clinical depression (and many other diagnoses) fall into a different category. The attempts by various parts of society to pretend that either there is no such thing as "normal" or that everyone is "normal" have done unspeakable harm to individuals where to the best of our scientific and medical knowledge there IS a difference. It is quackery, bordering on murderous intent to think that, much less tell someone with depression that they should just think happy thoughts.
gremloni 5y ago
Unless it’s a tiny percentage of people that have a severe chemical imbalance, absolutely.
hyperion2010 5y ago
My original comment does not cover depression. Without going into the underlying biology, it is safe to say that it is exceedingly rare for individuals with depression to be able to break out, because there are biochemical or structural changes in the brain that require either substantial changes in the individual's environment, or clinical intervention to overcome. There is also a fundamental difference between the experience of feeling happy and viewing something from a positive perspective. Even someone with depression could choose a positive interpretation for an potentially saddening event, but that choice alone would be unlikely to result in the experience of happiness, precisely because depression impacts the very ability to experience happiness, it is something more fundamental. There is also the question of whether depression makes it difficult to pick positive interpretations for events, but that is orthogonal to the point here.
- soco 5y ago
  Your original comment could be the record holder for misunderstandings potential. And mentioning leadership training only made it worse, given the current ballyhoo of positivity and coaching and whatnot. Thank you for this second comment, it was heavily needed.

HarryHirsch 5y ago

You can't have enough contempt for that culture-bound crap.

mgh2 5y ago

Nobody "chooses" anything, the belief in agency is a myth from the rich, resulting in victim blaming. https://m-g-h.medium.com/free-will-a-rich-fairy-tale-4fecf8095812 https://m-g-h.medium.com/free-will-a-rich-fairy-tale-4fecf80...