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> And “shutting them the hell up” is working against that. It’s fewer words than saying helping to foster increased listening and learning capabilities, but is

> And “shutting them the hell up” is working against that. It’s fewer words than saying helping to foster increased listening and learning capabilities, but is effectively the same thing. As a parent you want to have deeper and meaningful conversations that allow for instruction, guidance, and mentoring. These things cannot happen if there is a clinical mental illness in the way.

rovr138 5y ago
> As a parent you want to have deeper and meaningful conversations that allow for instruction, guidance, and mentoring. These things cannot happen if there is a clinical mental illness in the way. If we are talking about ADHD, this is bullshit. As someone that wasn’t medicated as a kid and had a lot of meaningful conversations, had mentors, learnt, went to college, built a career, screw your attitude. If we are talking of that extreme of a case, that’s why medication is there. But back to the original part, to me it just sounds like you also need to learn how to work with them.
- austincheney 5y ago
  I suspect you were not a foster child with years of neglect. > you also need to learn how to work with them. That’s why I asked the question.
tdy_err 5y ago
I read that and gave you the benefit of the doubt that brevity was your intent more than expressing frustration:) I can imagine how difficult it must be to want to help someone who can’t help themselves but has nobody else… While I have many ideas about how we got through my childhood, I think any meaningful plan will have to suit your kid so general suggestions are probably hit or miss at best. This is why I suggested a caretaker but I guess I really meant “a specialist”. I’ll just say this, to offer some insight… ADHD is not just losing track of the external world- it is a loss of your own internal world. It’s like someone is always tugging your instruction pointer away from your stack. This is suffering.

rovr138 5y ago

> As a parent you want to have deeper and meaningful conversations that allow for instruction, guidance, and mentoring. These things cannot happen if there is a clinical mental illness in the way. If we are talking about ADHD, this is bullshit. As someone that wasn’t medicated as a kid and had a lot of meaningful conversations, had mentors, learnt, went to college, built a career, screw your attitude. If we are talking of that extreme of a case, that’s why medication is there. But back to the original part, to me it just sounds like you also need to learn how to work with them.

austincheney 5y ago
I suspect you were not a foster child with years of neglect. > you also need to learn how to work with them. That’s why I asked the question.

tdy_err 5y ago

I read that and gave you the benefit of the doubt that brevity was your intent more than expressing frustration:) I can imagine how difficult it must be to want to help someone who can’t help themselves but has nobody else… While I have many ideas about how we got through my childhood, I think any meaningful plan will have to suit your kid so general suggestions are probably hit or miss at best. This is why I suggested a caretaker but I guess I really meant “a specialist”. I’ll just say this, to offer some insight… ADHD is not just losing track of the external world- it is a loss of your own internal world. It’s like someone is always tugging your instruction pointer away from your stack. This is suffering.