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Thanks for asking. I smoked or vaped basically every day for the last 15 years. Also I don't know if your username is an intentional pun or not but I appreciate
by bpiche 5y ago
Thanks for asking. I smoked or vaped basically every day for the last 15 years. Also I don't know if your username is an intentional pun or not but I appreciate it.
A few months ago, I had a come to Jesus moment with alcohol and decided to stop drinking.
A few months after that, I realized that I didn't just have an addiction to alcohol, I also had an addiction to cannabis. And in fact, I just have an addictive personality, and wanted to be free from my addictions, and free to make my own decisions.
If you really cannot go without it, you might ask yourself if that's something you want for yourself. I mean I couldn't travel to half the countries in the world because I couldn't imagine being somewhere, where I couldn't pick up.
I've only been clean for a week so far. But the mental changes in this short amount of time have been astounding. I feel as mentally awake as I was in high school before I went down this road. I actually enjoy playing video games even more now.
Robert Anton Wilson used to write about how drugs are reality tunnels that filter your perception of the world. Well, being clean is its own reality tunnel, especially after living ni a different one for so long. It is a real trip.
edit: I have to thank NA for getting me here. It's an amazing program if you can find a good group.
- herbst 5y ago> I mean I couldn't travel to half the countries in the world because I couldn't imagine being somewhere, where I couldn't pick up. That's another level :) I travelled a lot and only smoke when the laws make it somewhat ok. It's just at home doing nothing where I have hard time seeing myself without. Congratulations on your success, sounds as if you realized what you don't like about your life and actually changed it. That's bigger than it may sounds! Kudos Edit:// btw no pun. Herbst is just German for fall. But it could be that my love for the herb influenced my name decision back then. But I like fall too
- bpiche 5y agoVielen Dank, I really only shared that because I wondered if it would resonate with others here. Another BIG thing that made me stop, at least for the foreseeable future: I was having spasms in my neck, basically on my carotid artery, every time I used. I felt like I was about to have a stroke half the time, and I also felt a little powerless to stop it. I am really happy that you are in control of your usage. It's a scary place to be when you can't control your own life.
- herbst 5y agoI am sure it resonates with people here, this thread gathered more interest than I assumed. That spasm sounds horrifying. Glad you stopped, sounds like your body really wanted you to. Also i would not say I have good control, I am maybe just lucky of having a not very addictive personality.
- bpiche 5y agoThe very fact that you made this post and are willing to be vulnerable enough with yourself to ask these questions is a awesome. Keep examining yourself. Nobody is perfect. Just know that people will love you and support you 100% of the way if you ever decide to stop using for a while, and it is way easier than you might think.. but you can't do it alone. You are a very smart person. I wonder how smart the parallel universe version of yourself who never tokes is. They're probably a real force of nature. At least, that's what I wonder about myself sometimes. Truly, a highdea.
- herbst 5y agoI love your mental image of our parallel selfs. No worries I have all the support I could get whatever I go for! My partner is doing a break, so I thought I try too so I am sober for a few days now actually. Sure miss it, but mostly because I relax on the couch all day because the weather is really bad, otherwise it's not too hard (for me) Today I just wondered why and figured I'll get some inputs from a crowd i value.