5 ms·

> the secret suffering You packed a lot of insight and wisdom into your comment. Regarding secret suffering, I know someone who is so good at it that they mak

> the secret suffering You packed a lot of insight and wisdom into your comment. Regarding secret suffering, I know someone who is so good at it that they make it easy to forget on a conscious level that they suffer from depression. It's insidious. The past year or so has really illuminated the "it doesn't matter until it affects me personally mentality (or I don't understand it until it does)." Seems like that can be applied to depression. I posit lack of understanding about depression is exacerbated about our nascent understanding of how our minds even work. Combined this makes me think we, as a species, are not very educated about depression. What do you think and/or what do you think we could do better so we don't continue to have an "absolute incomprehension, the continued downplaying of issues like depression"?

hrh 5y ago
I'd imagine a lot of people are like this, and I'd imagine HN is overrepresented by this, but I just really feel emotions. When I'm on and am really into something I get hyperfocus and feel like the world is my oyster, but inevitably that high is going to end and if I'm not careful with certain emotional situations I put myself in (romantic relationships), I can reach that low of lows where I honestly just don't want to be here. I mean I guess we all feel this at times, I don't want to imagine it is special, but there are just times in those lows where every doorframe and every rope looks like an out. I absolutely am not interested in it and I know that if I stick it out, that time is going to pass, but I absolutely feel it deep in my stomach and I understand when people who are in that state exacerbate it (if it's alcohol, don't drink alcohol) and we get these tragedies. For me, personally, this is the first time in 15 years that I've felt normal, which is to say my entire adult life. Some of that is just growing up, but it took a few tries with psychologists (the second much more successful than the first), being cognizant of what issues put me in a funk and avoiding them, getting the appropriate medication (for depression this is invaluable - the main thing it does for me is make sure those valleys aren't so low) and then within the last year realizing that I might also be adhd (all this shit is comorbid) and seeing a pyschiatrist and getting on the proper meds for that. I know we've got our Scientologists and resident HNers that think the healthcare industry is just a joke, but my counselours have always been my friends, it's as much me guiding and us learning about what works and doesn't work as them, and you know, it's been life-changing. This last part is in response to your "we don't know" comment. We have no fucking clue on the brain works, which is why I'm even saying this. I see people that are ashamed to take medication or admit they have. But the depression is never going to completely go away. Two books that have given me a lot of hope, taught me a lot are: > https://www.amazon.com/Lincolns-Melancholy-Depression-Challenged-President/dp/0618773444 https://www.amazon.com/Lincolns-Melancholy-Depression-Challe... > https://www.amazon.com/First-Rate-Madness-Uncovering-Between-Leadership/dp/0143121332 https://www.amazon.com/First-Rate-Madness-Uncovering-Between... I'm sure someone's going to say that here's popsci, but I dunno, was good stuff for me. Great insights into mental disorders and how they can be worked around, even embraced. This is all feeling way too male...I guess a final thing that's been vital for me (and again, just getting older) is the power of empathy. I think there are a few shows like Mad Men or HaCF which really show a variety of people working through issues like this.
- heymijo 5y ago
  I really really appreciate your response. I’ll be thinking about this.
- effingwewt 5y ago
  Jesus I feel you. There were years I couldn't take a bath because I couldn't be sure I could resist slipping under. For me depression isn't thinking about things and wanting to die. It's actively fighting the ever-increasing...I don't know, need?..to just be done. Gonna give the books a look, glad you found something that works for you!
- bpiche 5y ago
  Hey I just wanted to chime in and say that your story is very inspiring and I really appreciate the vulnerability it took for you to share it with us. Thanks for the book recommendations too. And keep fighting the good fight.

hrh 5y ago

I'd imagine a lot of people are like this, and I'd imagine HN is overrepresented by this, but I just really feel emotions. When I'm on and am really into something I get hyperfocus and feel like the world is my oyster, but inevitably that high is going to end and if I'm not careful with certain emotional situations I put myself in (romantic relationships), I can reach that low of lows where I honestly just don't want to be here. I mean I guess we all feel this at times, I don't want to imagine it is special, but there are just times in those lows where every doorframe and every rope looks like an out. I absolutely am not interested in it and I know that if I stick it out, that time is going to pass, but I absolutely feel it deep in my stomach and I understand when people who are in that state exacerbate it (if it's alcohol, don't drink alcohol) and we get these tragedies. For me, personally, this is the first time in 15 years that I've felt normal, which is to say my entire adult life. Some of that is just growing up, but it took a few tries with psychologists (the second much more successful than the first), being cognizant of what issues put me in a funk and avoiding them, getting the appropriate medication (for depression this is invaluable - the main thing it does for me is make sure those valleys aren't so low) and then within the last year realizing that I might also be adhd (all this shit is comorbid) and seeing a pyschiatrist and getting on the proper meds for that. I know we've got our Scientologists and resident HNers that think the healthcare industry is just a joke, but my counselours have always been my friends, it's as much me guiding and us learning about what works and doesn't work as them, and you know, it's been life-changing. This last part is in response to your "we don't know" comment. We have no fucking clue on the brain works, which is why I'm even saying this. I see people that are ashamed to take medication or admit they have. But the depression is never going to completely go away. Two books that have given me a lot of hope, taught me a lot are: > https://www.amazon.com/Lincolns-Melancholy-Depression-Challenged-President/dp/0618773444 https://www.amazon.com/Lincolns-Melancholy-Depression-Challe... > https://www.amazon.com/First-Rate-Madness-Uncovering-Between-Leadership/dp/0143121332 https://www.amazon.com/First-Rate-Madness-Uncovering-Between... I'm sure someone's going to say that here's popsci, but I dunno, was good stuff for me. Great insights into mental disorders and how they can be worked around, even embraced. This is all feeling way too male...I guess a final thing that's been vital for me (and again, just getting older) is the power of empathy. I think there are a few shows like Mad Men or HaCF which really show a variety of people working through issues like this.

heymijo 5y ago
I really really appreciate your response. I’ll be thinking about this.
effingwewt 5y ago
Jesus I feel you. There were years I couldn't take a bath because I couldn't be sure I could resist slipping under. For me depression isn't thinking about things and wanting to die. It's actively fighting the ever-increasing...I don't know, need?..to just be done. Gonna give the books a look, glad you found something that works for you!
bpiche 5y ago
Hey I just wanted to chime in and say that your story is very inspiring and I really appreciate the vulnerability it took for you to share it with us. Thanks for the book recommendations too. And keep fighting the good fight.