>The key thing for us has been to silo these arguments off from the rest of the relationship. I think this is an ability that not everyone possesses. For me a

>The key thing for us has been to silo these arguments off from the rest of the relationship. I think this is an ability that not everyone possesses. For me and my (now ex-) wife our relationship comprised every waking moment of our existence. It was impossible to silo the fact that I said horrible things to her, and her to me. Sure these things made us each feel better at the time, but at what cost? The relationship, apparently. Since then we've (while co-parenting a child) come to appreciate the value of separating our emotions from the issue(s) at hand. With it we've been able to successfully navigate extremely thorny issues that might otherwise compromise the well-being of our son were he to pick up on the fact that we've been sidelined by our own shit as opposed to looking out for his best interests and conducting ourselves accordingly.