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Not only do I think it's not unfair, I think people who are in tough situations often hide in those tough situations as a way of explaining their continued poor

Not only do I think it's not unfair, I think people who are in tough situations often hide in those tough situations as a way of explaining their continued poor choices, even though the situation, while tough, has no bearing on why people keep digging themselves into deeper and deeper holes. For example, it costs money to move out of SF, yes, but it also costs money to stay in SF, which is something you'd figure out if you stopped and evaluated the options. It's hard, I empathize with that, but it's no excuse. Everything is hard, and having the presence of mind to logically consider your options is your responsibility. Not taking that time is not a luxury people in those situations usually have, but seem to think they do because "do nothing" is always an option, no matter how costly it ends up actually being. I think it's fair to judge someone based on their decisions, doubly so for their decisions in a tough spot. There are always good choices to be made in a given situation, and not making those good choices (even if they're limited) is the responsibility of the individual, and nobody else.

munk-a 5y ago
I think that at some point in your life you may change your tune on that fact if you ever find yourself in an incredibly stressful situation. I do understand that it seems illogical from the outside, but struggling to survive can leave you blind to hope that things can get better and prevent you from having the stability of mind to sort out your shit. This is one of (but not the only reason) why abusive relationships are also such a big problem - while you're in them you don't have the personal power and stability to safely transition out of them.
- TameAntelope 5y ago
  I disagree that I haven't been in an incredibly stressful situation, I think I just handled my stress appropriately and in a way that didn't make things worse. Further, I don't think what I did in stressful situations is relevant to this conversation at all, since we're talking about what one should do. Saying, "One should panic, and that's okay." is not accurate, I don't think. Surely it's understandable, but it's not what one ought to do.

munk-a 5y ago

I think that at some point in your life you may change your tune on that fact if you ever find yourself in an incredibly stressful situation. I do understand that it seems illogical from the outside, but struggling to survive can leave you blind to hope that things can get better and prevent you from having the stability of mind to sort out your shit. This is one of (but not the only reason) why abusive relationships are also such a big problem - while you're in them you don't have the personal power and stability to safely transition out of them.

TameAntelope 5y ago
I disagree that I haven't been in an incredibly stressful situation, I think I just handled my stress appropriately and in a way that didn't make things worse. Further, I don't think what I did in stressful situations is relevant to this conversation at all, since we're talking about what one should do. Saying, "One should panic, and that's okay." is not accurate, I don't think. Surely it's understandable, but it's not what one ought to do.