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The problem is those aren't mutually exclusive and it all comes down to personal perception. An asshole thinks he is just being strong and confident, NBD! Even
by Dumblydorr 5y ago
The problem is those aren't mutually exclusive and it all comes down to personal perception. An asshole thinks he is just being strong and confident, NBD! Even a kind assertive person can become aggressive after amygdala hijack during an opinionated debate. Like myself once stupidly arguing Pavarotti is a superior singer to McCartney, lol I cringe now at how impassioned and rude I became.
Others may perceive this "assertive" behavior as angry or threatening. So, even with those definitions, Jobs for instance would be considered both assertive and aggressive.
So, labeling assertiveness as good or bad morally: IMO, it's conditional.
- edmundsauto 5y agoI feel this may be an issue of semantics. To my understanding, in the NVC literature, once you start being aggressive, you are no longer being assertive - you are being aggressive. IE, they are not overlapping subsets. This is conceptually similar to the idea of addiction. Physical dependency is one component, but the definition I'm most familiar with is that it becomes an addition (instead of use/misuse) once it has a significant negative impact on your life. YMMV, but wanted to see if I could jump in to help clear up. It's not a comment on your definition, btw - just the context of the discussion.