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> I am bad with money. I’m also not abnormal. Reading stuff like this makes me feel old. The - new generation? - who seem to always publicly remind themselves

> I am bad with money. I’m also not abnormal. Reading stuff like this makes me feel old. The - new generation? - who seem to always publicly remind themselves that they're good enough after all and just like everyone else and normal and it's hard for us ... and now don't get me wrong: these things can be true. But I grew up not standing on a soapbox and exclaiming these things, and not thinking or writing in that way. It's kind of a race to the bottom if everything is treated like you're an object and not a subject, as in, blowing around in the wind by objective forces that are external. There really is a mix of external and subjective forces at play, but we're reminded of the external with this style. I would have said, "I fucked up. I used to be bad with money. Now I do this: __ __ __. "Bad with money" implies an immovable predicament and "I'm not alone" implies systemic forces at play. Again, the focus on the absolute and removal of the subject. Yes, I'm extrapolating quite a bit from so little, it's just that this style of writing seems ubiquitous now.

caterama 5y ago
Evoking the sense that there are systematic forces at play is intentional! Who cares if _you're_ bad with money? It could be an edge case that doesn't matter. But if it's normal to be bad with money (i.e. there are a lot of people who are bad with money), that's a little more interesting -- something to pay attention to. Also, as someone on the younger side, this mentality is comforting. It's the comfort of existing within a school of fish. Despite unpredictable currents that act on you like an object, it's comforting to know that there are many of you. A few individuals disappear here and there, but chances are the school will survive. You're normal, you belong, things are hard, but you'll probably be fine.
- knrz 5y ago
  As someone also on the younger side, I want to echo what you've said: I've also felt feelings of not belonging, things are hard, but you'll probably be fine. More like the GP, however, I've gotten there not through identification with others but instead through the cultivation of a spiritual life philosophy. Like GP, I also grow tired of hearing these voices too often. I have a little sister, who is 13 now, and she feels submitted to her fate. More often than not she feels like a candle in the wind (queue Elton John) instead of a captain at the helm. But you're right, it is something to pay attention to. These little instances all add up to be statistically relevant and a source of knowledge for collective social truth-finding. One thing I must insist on, philosophically, however, is that we are not often served by identifying with sub-par things. Personal identification is very useful for aspiring and evolving, but personal identification with the present or the past can unnecessarily keep you anchored to bad habits.
IkmoIkmo 5y ago
Not sure I really agree, to me it just seemed as if she's speaking to a wider trend of people mismanaging their finances and speaks to the reasons (culture, literacy, short-term bias etc). It's quite common for journalists to try to touch on societal trends, whilst doing it through the lens of a personal story, it makes the writing relatable to the reader and thereby potentially useful. But even if she wasn't doing that and was indeed looking to normalize financial illiteracy by saying it's common and she's not the only one, I think that's a pretty healthy perspective. Yes she fucked up, which she acknowledges. But it can be healthy to not seek fault in you as a person or your character, but rather to seek fault in your behaviour, your lack of education on a topic, your views which may have been too biased for the short-term. After all, those things can be changed, it gives the individual agency and a feeling of control. I think the entire article acknowledged that the solution lied with her changing her views, her habits, her financial literacy, her financial management. I found it to the contrary of removal of the subject. > I fucked up. Was she not saying exactly those things? For example she says "I saw my folly" or "How was I ever going to afford a kid’s college fund? It wasn’t just that I’d only ever lived for my youth; maybe I’d only ever lived for myself. No wonder I was alone." It's quite clear she felt she fucked up and saw the issue with herself. > I used to be bad with money. Now I do this: __ __ __. Again, I felt she touched on this throughout the article, e.g. by saying things like "I’d started reading personal-finance books, analyzing my spending, and making budgets. I also started wearing sunscreen."
mjfl 5y ago
> It's kind of a race to the bottom if everything is treated like you're an object and not a subject, as in, blowing around in the wind by objective forces that are external. There really is a mix of external and subjective forces at play, but we're reminded of the external with this style. Pretty good description of toxic femininity.

caterama 5y ago

Evoking the sense that there are systematic forces at play is intentional! Who cares if _you're_ bad with money? It could be an edge case that doesn't matter. But if it's normal to be bad with money (i.e. there are a lot of people who are bad with money), that's a little more interesting -- something to pay attention to. Also, as someone on the younger side, this mentality is comforting. It's the comfort of existing within a school of fish. Despite unpredictable currents that act on you like an object, it's comforting to know that there are many of you. A few individuals disappear here and there, but chances are the school will survive. You're normal, you belong, things are hard, but you'll probably be fine.

knrz 5y ago
As someone also on the younger side, I want to echo what you've said: I've also felt feelings of not belonging, things are hard, but you'll probably be fine. More like the GP, however, I've gotten there not through identification with others but instead through the cultivation of a spiritual life philosophy. Like GP, I also grow tired of hearing these voices too often. I have a little sister, who is 13 now, and she feels submitted to her fate. More often than not she feels like a candle in the wind (queue Elton John) instead of a captain at the helm. But you're right, it is something to pay attention to. These little instances all add up to be statistically relevant and a source of knowledge for collective social truth-finding. One thing I must insist on, philosophically, however, is that we are not often served by identifying with sub-par things. Personal identification is very useful for aspiring and evolving, but personal identification with the present or the past can unnecessarily keep you anchored to bad habits.

IkmoIkmo 5y ago

Not sure I really agree, to me it just seemed as if she's speaking to a wider trend of people mismanaging their finances and speaks to the reasons (culture, literacy, short-term bias etc). It's quite common for journalists to try to touch on societal trends, whilst doing it through the lens of a personal story, it makes the writing relatable to the reader and thereby potentially useful. But even if she wasn't doing that and was indeed looking to normalize financial illiteracy by saying it's common and she's not the only one, I think that's a pretty healthy perspective. Yes she fucked up, which she acknowledges. But it can be healthy to not seek fault in you as a person or your character, but rather to seek fault in your behaviour, your lack of education on a topic, your views which may have been too biased for the short-term. After all, those things can be changed, it gives the individual agency and a feeling of control. I think the entire article acknowledged that the solution lied with her changing her views, her habits, her financial literacy, her financial management. I found it to the contrary of removal of the subject. > I fucked up. Was she not saying exactly those things? For example she says "I saw my folly" or "How was I ever going to afford a kid’s college fund? It wasn’t just that I’d only ever lived for my youth; maybe I’d only ever lived for myself. No wonder I was alone." It's quite clear she felt she fucked up and saw the issue with herself. > I used to be bad with money. Now I do this: __ __ __. Again, I felt she touched on this throughout the article, e.g. by saying things like "I’d started reading personal-finance books, analyzing my spending, and making budgets. I also started wearing sunscreen."

mjfl 5y ago

> It's kind of a race to the bottom if everything is treated like you're an object and not a subject, as in, blowing around in the wind by objective forces that are external. There really is a mix of external and subjective forces at play, but we're reminded of the external with this style. Pretty good description of toxic femininity.