3 ms·

I don’t think that’s the right way to think about it. You usually aren’t born needing to pay $100, and having $80, there are probably decisions you make that p

I don’t think that’s the right way to think about it. You usually aren’t born needing to pay $100, and having $80, there are probably decisions you make that put you more or less likely to be in that situation, some obvious, some not. Sometimes you do get shit luck, but I think there are always ways to mitigate the negative consequences of bad luck, and maximize the consequences of good luck. We have a lot of control over how our lives turn out here in the US, though not complete control, and it’s worth remembering that.

munk-a 5y ago
You are born (possibly) needing a car to commute to work, and needing a place to live, and needing to eat - and those costs have been going up. It is legitimately difficult and incredibly stressful to work in the service industry in San Fran unless you've lucked into being able to live in the downtown on the cheap. The suburbs that are affordable are hours away by car and more by public transit.
- TameAntelope 5y ago
  > in San Fran That’s a choice, and exactly what I’m talking about. Everything is a trade-off and while you can’t control everything, you can control a lot of things. One example I like to think of in this situation is a person I knew from my childhood, who struggled. If you asked him, he'd tell you how hard it is out there, and how many times life had giving him the short end of the stick. In many ways, he was right. However, when you start looking at his choices, you begin to see a pattern. He had a hard time living on his own, and had to move back into his mom's house at one point. If you asked him, it'd be due to a roommate situation that fell through, sticking him with a lease on a 2BR apartment that bled him dry. But if you dug in, you'd find out he signed that lease after his potential roommate backed out, and he never tried to fill the second bedroom. He was paying for a 2BR on near-minimum wage salary. He could not afford this, he should have never made this decision, and yet if you ask him, it's the result of the bad hand he got dealt due to the roommate. Was it tough, having a roommate back out? Yes. Did he need to sign that 2BR lease anyway? No. Did he need to leave the second BR empty for the duration of the lease? No.
  - munk-a 5y ago
    Oh yea - some people have a hard time adjusting to the life they're able to live, but for a while I subletted a bedroom for 250/mo in a party house and that period of my life was utterly miserable. I got absolutely terrible sleep and the bathroom frequently with a sink full of rotting limes encouraged me to spend as much time as possible loitering on campus. I would've had a hard time working during that period as my schedule was constantly in flux around when parties were happening and my ability to have a shower was sometimes limited by puke or passed out folks. You're mostly coming from an angle of personal choice but relocating yourself a significant distance costs a lot of money, it can be a financial burden to move across country or even across state. There are people who can voluntarily escape their situation (like your buddy) but there are a big portion that are just stuck there involuntarily. I'd add that it's also a bit unfair to judge people whose solutions seem solvable but are in tough spots. I don't know if you've ever lived through a period of high stress (I was a game developer for a while and worked a lot of overtime while suffering from OSA) but when you don't have room to breathe it can be hard to puzzle a way out of your situation. You're just focusing on surviving with what you've got and all your energy is going into it, you don't have the presence of mind to logically consider your options and decide to cut your losses and run.
    - TameAntelope 5y ago
      Not only do I think it's not unfair, I think people who are in tough situations often hide in those tough situations as a way of explaining their continued poor choices, even though the situation, while tough, has no bearing on why people keep digging themselves into deeper and deeper holes. For example, it costs money to move out of SF, yes, but it also costs money to stay in SF, which is something you'd figure out if you stopped and evaluated the options. It's hard, I empathize with that, but it's no excuse. Everything is hard, and having the presence of mind to logically consider your options is your responsibility. Not taking that time is not a luxury people in those situations usually have, but seem to think they do because "do nothing" is always an option, no matter how costly it ends up actually being. I think it's fair to judge someone based on their decisions, doubly so for their decisions in a tough spot. There are always good choices to be made in a given situation, and not making those good choices (even if they're limited) is the responsibility of the individual, and nobody else.

munk-a 5y ago

You are born (possibly) needing a car to commute to work, and needing a place to live, and needing to eat - and those costs have been going up. It is legitimately difficult and incredibly stressful to work in the service industry in San Fran unless you've lucked into being able to live in the downtown on the cheap. The suburbs that are affordable are hours away by car and more by public transit.

TameAntelope 5y ago
> in San Fran That’s a choice, and exactly what I’m talking about. Everything is a trade-off and while you can’t control everything, you can control a lot of things. One example I like to think of in this situation is a person I knew from my childhood, who struggled. If you asked him, he'd tell you how hard it is out there, and how many times life had giving him the short end of the stick. In many ways, he was right. However, when you start looking at his choices, you begin to see a pattern. He had a hard time living on his own, and had to move back into his mom's house at one point. If you asked him, it'd be due to a roommate situation that fell through, sticking him with a lease on a 2BR apartment that bled him dry. But if you dug in, you'd find out he signed that lease after his potential roommate backed out, and he never tried to fill the second bedroom. He was paying for a 2BR on near-minimum wage salary. He could not afford this, he should have never made this decision, and yet if you ask him, it's the result of the bad hand he got dealt due to the roommate. Was it tough, having a roommate back out? Yes. Did he need to sign that 2BR lease anyway? No. Did he need to leave the second BR empty for the duration of the lease? No.
- munk-a 5y ago
  Oh yea - some people have a hard time adjusting to the life they're able to live, but for a while I subletted a bedroom for 250/mo in a party house and that period of my life was utterly miserable. I got absolutely terrible sleep and the bathroom frequently with a sink full of rotting limes encouraged me to spend as much time as possible loitering on campus. I would've had a hard time working during that period as my schedule was constantly in flux around when parties were happening and my ability to have a shower was sometimes limited by puke or passed out folks. You're mostly coming from an angle of personal choice but relocating yourself a significant distance costs a lot of money, it can be a financial burden to move across country or even across state. There are people who can voluntarily escape their situation (like your buddy) but there are a big portion that are just stuck there involuntarily. I'd add that it's also a bit unfair to judge people whose solutions seem solvable but are in tough spots. I don't know if you've ever lived through a period of high stress (I was a game developer for a while and worked a lot of overtime while suffering from OSA) but when you don't have room to breathe it can be hard to puzzle a way out of your situation. You're just focusing on surviving with what you've got and all your energy is going into it, you don't have the presence of mind to logically consider your options and decide to cut your losses and run.
  - TameAntelope 5y ago
    Not only do I think it's not unfair, I think people who are in tough situations often hide in those tough situations as a way of explaining their continued poor choices, even though the situation, while tough, has no bearing on why people keep digging themselves into deeper and deeper holes. For example, it costs money to move out of SF, yes, but it also costs money to stay in SF, which is something you'd figure out if you stopped and evaluated the options. It's hard, I empathize with that, but it's no excuse. Everything is hard, and having the presence of mind to logically consider your options is your responsibility. Not taking that time is not a luxury people in those situations usually have, but seem to think they do because "do nothing" is always an option, no matter how costly it ends up actually being. I think it's fair to judge someone based on their decisions, doubly so for their decisions in a tough spot. There are always good choices to be made in a given situation, and not making those good choices (even if they're limited) is the responsibility of the individual, and nobody else.