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I just posted something very similar, and was surprised to see there were not more comments along this line. My family isn't red, but just in general dealing wi

I just posted something very similar, and was surprised to see there were not more comments along this line. My family isn't red, but just in general dealing with them is kind of exhausting. The extended is fine to spend time with, but they are constantly in petty fights with one another and trying to align others to their "side" when I just want to find out who is coming for Thanksgiving and what I should bring. Some of them continue to make the same exact poor decisions over and over and then bitch about ~~the consequences~~ their lives. There is only so much I can take, there are lots of other people in my life who I never view dealing with as someone I have to subject myself to but do not want to.

im_down_w_otp 5y ago
Yes, absolutely that's a constant component of the "factioneering" as well. My spouse points out that my family tries to use me as Switzerland to broker between their respective dysfunction whenever there's a crisis (e.g. death in the family, financial problems, etc.). There was a point in time where I took that on willingly and dutifully because I'd think, "Well, somebody has to do it." But, as they never took these moments as teachable ones to sort out their own issues with themselves and then consequently with others, I just hit points where I was sacrificing what I loved for what I didn't, and I stopped. It turns out that, nope... somebody actually doesn't have to do it. As long as you can get yourself outside the blast radius, life goes on. I suppose, unfortunately, that then becomes the goal and challenge... how to stay outside the blast radius. Hence, estrangement.