First, you're a really good writer, and no one can take that away from you. The big picture is this - we are nearing the end of this society, and thus (in gene

First, you're a really good writer, and no one can take that away from you. The big picture is this - we are nearing the end of this society, and thus (in general) bad people succeed and good people fail. (I personally am doing OK if not stellar, this isn't sour grapes.) You seem like a thoughtful, compassionate guy so it's no wonder that you aren't doing well. My suggestion is artistic detachment. Treat life more like a surrealistic comedy and less like a game with live ammunition - it has aspects of both, of course. If you think of life as a dramatic presentation for your entertainment, even the bad parts will be more entertaining. Turn on a "professional personality" at work which has nothing to do with who YOU are and then learn to turn it off after work. Find something unrelated to... all this... to keep you entertained - something small and cheap and fun. In the past I've studied magic tricks and origami - right now my wife is doing watercolors and I'm reading 50 year old SF books. And best wishes from one random to another!