6 ms·

I feel a problem is that at 18 you still have "main character bias" You spend a lot of time consuming uplifting media during childhood to where you unconscious

I feel a problem is that at 18 you still have "main character bias" You spend a lot of time consuming uplifting media during childhood to where you unconsciously think of yourself as the main character of the story. When you're picking a major you just can't imagine things not working out, that's something that happens to side characters.

xkeysc0re 5y ago
I mean...you are the main character of your life
- quickthrower2 5y ago
  Sure, but the story isn't going to be like a movie, for most of us. (It's more likely to be closer to soap opera, but more plain).
  - xkeysc0re 5y ago
    I disagree. Life is the ultimate expression of direct cinema and thus the apex of what a movie "is", ontologically speaking. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cin%C3%A9ma_v%C3%A9rit%C3%A9 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cin%C3%A9ma_v%C3%A9rit%C3%A9
    - oh_sigh 5y ago
      Someone's life but not anyone's life. Not sure why the films listed on that page are about JFK and Bob Dylan if you can make a move about anyone.
      - xkeysc0re 5y ago
        My personal favorite film about an "anyone" https://vimeo.com/64421202 https://vimeo.com/64421202 There's a lot of incredible cinema created from home movie footage as well as just letting the camera roll in your town https://www.topic.com/the-bard-of-braddock https://www.topic.com/the-bard-of-braddock
    - alephnan 5y ago
      Tell that to someone on minimum wage or have a terminal disease
      - xkeysc0re 5y ago
        I really don't get your point. There are tragic, soul-wrenching films about these very subjects. Not every film is a Marvel movie
        deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]
        alephnan 5y ago
        Like those YouTube videos where somebody is being altruistic for the video content. Maybe the poor is more interested in having food to eat than being in the spotlight
        xkeysc0re 5y ago
        OP said "Sure, but the story isn't going to be like a movie, for most of us." I'm just pointing out that life is, in fact, experientially like a movie just maybe not the feel good story of the year we'd like it to be
- qmmmur 5y ago
  Not really. You're primarily the side character of many others first and foremost. You are essentially unimportant.
  - xkeysc0re 5y ago
    Do you not see the logical fallacy here? If the generalized "you" - that is to say, the randomly sampled human - is merely a side character to someone else and essentially "unimportant", then that implies by induction that we are all unimportant which is surely not the case, as this distinction implies and indeed requires a hierarchy of important "main" characters. So who is a main character?
    - tiahura 5y ago
      Don’t call me Shirley.
    - qmmmur 5y ago
      You know you can talk about things in the world without using deductive reasoning? Jeez...
    - fellowniusmonk 5y ago
      Probably not you? Probably not me? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_paradox https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_paradox The real world is purely emergent so thinking you are a main character is just a fallacy, an absurdism. What you seem to be pushing back on is that when someone describes themself as a side character it implies that they still buy into "narrative drive" and they just think poorly of themselves. I think while one could argue that there are no main or side characters the simple fact is you can look at the friendship paradox to inform how you think about the problem. Let's forget narrative in the manufactured sense and talk about what scale of perception a person referring to themselves as a "side character" may be implicitly using as a reference. Does the universe revolve around you to any impactful degree and the answer is that it doesn't at all, one asteroid and we are all done, we are here by happenstance, on any cosmic scale or timeline we currently hardly exist. From an experiential human society scale some people function as higher power nodes than others and there is a good chance you are a lower powered node than the people you know, meaning each person is their self probably the least significant person they know. I'd argue that internalizing the friendship paradox and what we know about social graphs could reasonably lead someone to refer to themselves colloquially as a side character, "pretty much everyone I know is probably more important than me." is a fair self assessment for people to make.
- seneca 5y ago
  You're the main character in 1 life, a side character in hundreds, and irrelevant in billions.
airstrike 5y ago
Students come from an environment in which everyone is exclusively telling them "you're so special and unique" until they graduate from college and real life yells "lol get the fuck out of my face"
- ip26 5y ago
  When we're talking about famous schools, there's also the big fish small pond effect to remember.
TchoBeer 5y ago
I don't know what media you consume but I've consumed plenty in which not everything works out for the main character
crossroadsguy 5y ago
In rural India where science stream - Math + Phy + Chem - was almost automatic for me for 2 years 10+2 schooling (before 3-4 yrs of college began) because I had scored quite well in my 10th board examination. Because, for the world around me it was obvious that I would be studying medicine or engineering (I chose engineering as I had seen number of thick books a relative had - he was a medical student - that had scared me). Fine arts and creative fields are reserved around there for people who didn’t score well in school level, or have very rich patents or are women (don’t kill me, I am just stating it), or have rich patents and are kinda “aware” (in a “woke” sense; hope this term is not highly offensive). For the rest it’s just - what will pay and pay ASAP. Almost after more than a decade and a half later when all this happened and now that I am a senior software developer I really wish I had picked creative fields to study but that thought goes for a long pause, every time, the moment I think about the definite hardships I would have had to face and almost definite failure (statistically). I do believe the ecosystem around me at that time collectively nudged me towards a wise and practical choice, even though I barely do not hate software development (sure I do not like/love it) and almost every day I think/fantasise about getting into writing, history, film making etc. I hope I am able to maintain this dream and reality balance for long enough to retire safely and comfortably.
- MeinBlutIstBlau 5y ago
  > I really wish I had picked creative fields to study but that thought goes for a long pause, every time, the moment I think about the definite hardships I would have had to face and almost definite failure (statistically). This reminds me of this web comic that explains that exact situation[0]. Also here are a few others[1][2]. It really is a "grass is always greener" scenario. I personally love music (know guitar, wanna learn piano), making pottery, and drawing (if I could honestly devote the time to it). The reason I don't do them "professionally" is because there is very little money in it and it's extraordinarily difficult to make a career out of them unless you have been playing since you were very young and everything is muscle memory. I was not that fortunate. Regardless, I do them for fun now. I work my office job during the day to support those things during the night. Hopefully one day I can phase my day job out for those :) [0]https://i0.wp.com/warandpeas.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/war-and-peas-eternal-dilemma-light.jpg?ssl=1 https://i0.wp.com/warandpeas.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/... [1]https://i0.wp.com/warandpeas.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/war-and-peas-lies.jpg?ssl=1 https://i0.wp.com/warandpeas.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/... [2]https://i2.wp.com/warandpeas.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/war-and-peas-the-worst-union.jpg?ssl=1 https://i2.wp.com/warandpeas.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/...

xkeysc0re 5y ago

I mean...you are the main character of your life

quickthrower2 5y ago
Sure, but the story isn't going to be like a movie, for most of us. (It's more likely to be closer to soap opera, but more plain).
- xkeysc0re 5y ago
  I disagree. Life is the ultimate expression of direct cinema and thus the apex of what a movie "is", ontologically speaking. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cin%C3%A9ma_v%C3%A9rit%C3%A9 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cin%C3%A9ma_v%C3%A9rit%C3%A9
  - oh_sigh 5y ago
    Someone's life but not anyone's life. Not sure why the films listed on that page are about JFK and Bob Dylan if you can make a move about anyone.
    - xkeysc0re 5y ago
      My personal favorite film about an "anyone" https://vimeo.com/64421202 https://vimeo.com/64421202 There's a lot of incredible cinema created from home movie footage as well as just letting the camera roll in your town https://www.topic.com/the-bard-of-braddock https://www.topic.com/the-bard-of-braddock
  - alephnan 5y ago
    Tell that to someone on minimum wage or have a terminal disease
    - xkeysc0re 5y ago
      I really don't get your point. There are tragic, soul-wrenching films about these very subjects. Not every film is a Marvel movie
      - deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]
      - alephnan 5y ago
        Like those YouTube videos where somebody is being altruistic for the video content. Maybe the poor is more interested in having food to eat than being in the spotlight
        xkeysc0re 5y ago
        OP said "Sure, but the story isn't going to be like a movie, for most of us." I'm just pointing out that life is, in fact, experientially like a movie just maybe not the feel good story of the year we'd like it to be
qmmmur 5y ago
Not really. You're primarily the side character of many others first and foremost. You are essentially unimportant.
- xkeysc0re 5y ago
  Do you not see the logical fallacy here? If the generalized "you" - that is to say, the randomly sampled human - is merely a side character to someone else and essentially "unimportant", then that implies by induction that we are all unimportant which is surely not the case, as this distinction implies and indeed requires a hierarchy of important "main" characters. So who is a main character?
  - tiahura 5y ago
    Don’t call me Shirley.
  - qmmmur 5y ago
    You know you can talk about things in the world without using deductive reasoning? Jeez...
  - fellowniusmonk 5y ago
    Probably not you? Probably not me? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_paradox https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_paradox The real world is purely emergent so thinking you are a main character is just a fallacy, an absurdism. What you seem to be pushing back on is that when someone describes themself as a side character it implies that they still buy into "narrative drive" and they just think poorly of themselves. I think while one could argue that there are no main or side characters the simple fact is you can look at the friendship paradox to inform how you think about the problem. Let's forget narrative in the manufactured sense and talk about what scale of perception a person referring to themselves as a "side character" may be implicitly using as a reference. Does the universe revolve around you to any impactful degree and the answer is that it doesn't at all, one asteroid and we are all done, we are here by happenstance, on any cosmic scale or timeline we currently hardly exist. From an experiential human society scale some people function as higher power nodes than others and there is a good chance you are a lower powered node than the people you know, meaning each person is their self probably the least significant person they know. I'd argue that internalizing the friendship paradox and what we know about social graphs could reasonably lead someone to refer to themselves colloquially as a side character, "pretty much everyone I know is probably more important than me." is a fair self assessment for people to make.
seneca 5y ago
You're the main character in 1 life, a side character in hundreds, and irrelevant in billions.

airstrike 5y ago

Students come from an environment in which everyone is exclusively telling them "you're so special and unique" until they graduate from college and real life yells "lol get the fuck out of my face"

ip26 5y ago
When we're talking about famous schools, there's also the big fish small pond effect to remember.

TchoBeer 5y ago

I don't know what media you consume but I've consumed plenty in which not everything works out for the main character

crossroadsguy 5y ago

In rural India where science stream - Math + Phy + Chem - was almost automatic for me for 2 years 10+2 schooling (before 3-4 yrs of college began) because I had scored quite well in my 10th board examination. Because, for the world around me it was obvious that I would be studying medicine or engineering (I chose engineering as I had seen number of thick books a relative had - he was a medical student - that had scared me). Fine arts and creative fields are reserved around there for people who didn’t score well in school level, or have very rich patents or are women (don’t kill me, I am just stating it), or have rich patents and are kinda “aware” (in a “woke” sense; hope this term is not highly offensive). For the rest it’s just - what will pay and pay ASAP. Almost after more than a decade and a half later when all this happened and now that I am a senior software developer I really wish I had picked creative fields to study but that thought goes for a long pause, every time, the moment I think about the definite hardships I would have had to face and almost definite failure (statistically). I do believe the ecosystem around me at that time collectively nudged me towards a wise and practical choice, even though I barely do not hate software development (sure I do not like/love it) and almost every day I think/fantasise about getting into writing, history, film making etc. I hope I am able to maintain this dream and reality balance for long enough to retire safely and comfortably.

MeinBlutIstBlau 5y ago
> I really wish I had picked creative fields to study but that thought goes for a long pause, every time, the moment I think about the definite hardships I would have had to face and almost definite failure (statistically). This reminds me of this web comic that explains that exact situation[0]. Also here are a few others[1][2]. It really is a "grass is always greener" scenario. I personally love music (know guitar, wanna learn piano), making pottery, and drawing (if I could honestly devote the time to it). The reason I don't do them "professionally" is because there is very little money in it and it's extraordinarily difficult to make a career out of them unless you have been playing since you were very young and everything is muscle memory. I was not that fortunate. Regardless, I do them for fun now. I work my office job during the day to support those things during the night. Hopefully one day I can phase my day job out for those :) [0]https://i0.wp.com/warandpeas.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/war-and-peas-eternal-dilemma-light.jpg?ssl=1 https://i0.wp.com/warandpeas.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/... [1]https://i0.wp.com/warandpeas.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/war-and-peas-lies.jpg?ssl=1 https://i0.wp.com/warandpeas.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/... [2]https://i2.wp.com/warandpeas.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/war-and-peas-the-worst-union.jpg?ssl=1 https://i2.wp.com/warandpeas.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/...