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I agree with you on vulgarity but life isn't really fair about this. Just like how wearing a suit unfairly makes a presentation more potent than casual wear. It

I agree with you on vulgarity but life isn't really fair about this. Just like how wearing a suit unfairly makes a presentation more potent than casual wear. It is what it is. Being vulgar (even if technically justified) weakens the message for many people, especially when the other party is very polite and professional in return. edit: I would prefer if people weren't like that, but that's just one of the many flaws that humans have. Trying to change that instead of acknowledging it and adapting is an exercise in frustration. I'm not "affected by mere words", but I do prefer well worded arguments to mere expletives. And I'm not alone in that.

tomc1985 5y ago
I understand your point but I think that emotional suppression is a much greater crime than failing to be polite. After all, politeness has quite a storied history in being used to suppress and control people that are used to being 'othered', many of which feel things that are much stronger than I am expressing here
- andrewzah 5y ago
  "politeness has quite a storied history in being used to suppress and control people" As I said, it's not fair. I agree with you that it shouldn't be that way. But I also accept the fact that that's how things are, unfortunately. Life isn't fair. Maybe someday humans will be better, but I think not. And this is getting off-tangent from dealing with the problem at hand.
  - tomc1985 5y ago
    I can afford not to care. Sure in situations resembling servility I might have to revert to a more polite manner of speaking, but I make great effort to avoid them as they are debasing. A lot of the folks here on HN are responsible for the current reality of tech. A nice polite discussion is great but I want to express strong feelings and make people feel bad for their choices. And politely debating the merits of something does not do that.
- mixmastamyk 5y ago
  Agreed. If these folks are assholes, I want to hear the truth.
- allturtles 5y ago
  Great, politeness is racist now?
  - tomc1985 5y ago
    I don't think that politeness is inherently racist, but it has been used as a tool of racial suppression, and as a way of keeping itinerants in line https://www.ferris.edu/HTMLS/news/jimcrow/question/2006/september.htm https://www.ferris.edu/HTMLS/news/jimcrow/question/2006/sept...
    - ozfive 5y ago
      This was really important for me to read. Thanks for sharing!
    - reayn 5y ago
      ...
    - allturtles 5y ago
      The segregated South was a culture of total racial oppression. So yes every aspect of the culture reflected and reinforced racial oppression, all backed by the threat (or reality) of violence. This doesn't cast doubt on the value of politeness, any more than it casts doubt on the value of signs, schools, water fountains, restaurants, or laws.
      - tomc1985 5y ago
        It shouldn't cast doubt on the value of politeness, but it does cast doubt on its application and where and why it is appropriate. Are you saying that this legacy has not cast any shadows on modern culture?
deleted 5y ago
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tomc1985 5y ago

I understand your point but I think that emotional suppression is a much greater crime than failing to be polite. After all, politeness has quite a storied history in being used to suppress and control people that are used to being 'othered', many of which feel things that are much stronger than I am expressing here

andrewzah 5y ago
"politeness has quite a storied history in being used to suppress and control people" As I said, it's not fair. I agree with you that it shouldn't be that way. But I also accept the fact that that's how things are, unfortunately. Life isn't fair. Maybe someday humans will be better, but I think not. And this is getting off-tangent from dealing with the problem at hand.
- tomc1985 5y ago
  I can afford not to care. Sure in situations resembling servility I might have to revert to a more polite manner of speaking, but I make great effort to avoid them as they are debasing. A lot of the folks here on HN are responsible for the current reality of tech. A nice polite discussion is great but I want to express strong feelings and make people feel bad for their choices. And politely debating the merits of something does not do that.
mixmastamyk 5y ago
Agreed. If these folks are assholes, I want to hear the truth.
allturtles 5y ago
Great, politeness is racist now?
- tomc1985 5y ago
  I don't think that politeness is inherently racist, but it has been used as a tool of racial suppression, and as a way of keeping itinerants in line https://www.ferris.edu/HTMLS/news/jimcrow/question/2006/september.htm https://www.ferris.edu/HTMLS/news/jimcrow/question/2006/sept...
  - ozfive 5y ago
    This was really important for me to read. Thanks for sharing!
  - reayn 5y ago
    ...
  - allturtles 5y ago
    The segregated South was a culture of total racial oppression. So yes every aspect of the culture reflected and reinforced racial oppression, all backed by the threat (or reality) of violence. This doesn't cast doubt on the value of politeness, any more than it casts doubt on the value of signs, schools, water fountains, restaurants, or laws.
    - tomc1985 5y ago
      It shouldn't cast doubt on the value of politeness, but it does cast doubt on its application and where and why it is appropriate. Are you saying that this legacy has not cast any shadows on modern culture?

deleted 5y ago

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