5 ms·

I know exactly what makes me happy -- playing video games, eating good food, living in a nice climate (CA or Hawaii), and traveling the world. Unfortunately my

I know exactly what makes me happy -- playing video games, eating good food, living in a nice climate (CA or Hawaii), and traveling the world. Unfortunately my happiness comes with a price tag.

david-gpu 5y ago
It may be worth keeping an open mind. Perhaps there are many other things which would make you happy if you tried them, and they may not cost a lot. Lately I'm finding joy in all sorts of pursuits that I had never thought about. A willingness to try new things was necessary.
sombremesa 5y ago
Being wealthy is like learning a favorite restaurant recipe. You start making the same food everyday, because you love it, so why not? It doesn't take very long at all for the honeymoon to be over. So what exactly was making you happy there, when you could only eat that meal occasionally in that restaurant? Was it really the food?
sergioisidoro 5y ago
You can have nice weather and nice food for an affordable price tag outside of the US. you're probably leaving something out of the description of what makes you happy
simmanian 5y ago
I was exactly like this for a while, until I realized my happiness does not have to depend on anything. Like what the sibling comment says, if you keep an open mind and try things out, you'd be surprised to see what can help you achieve sustainable happiness.
munificent 5y ago
I think it's important to understand that "what makes you happy" is much more contextual than we realize. If you're sitting outside in the freezing cold, you might think that what makes you happy is "wearing big heavy coats and drinking cocoa". That's true right now because you're fucking cold. But get out of the cold and your happiness goals may change. Often, happiness is simply "what addresses the imbalances in my life right now?" Today, you're probably busy working a 9-5 (or longer). You spend much of your time overwhelmed by the complexity of your job, delaying gratification and doing things you don't want to do. You're stuck inside all day and working through the nicest months of the year. In that context, of course all you want to do is sit outside at a beach, play some leisurely videogames, and eat good meals. But that's because your life right now has a distinct absence of downtime, nature, and leisure. When you are retired, the entire context is different and thus what makes you happy will shift too. Once you no longer have a job, you'll likely find videogames boring and understimulating. When you start taking a walk every day in the woods, you might not crave moving to Hawaii quite as much. And when you have the time to cook and savor meals every evening, eating out loses some of its lustre. Whenever the situation of your life changes, expect your happiness goals to shift too.
- caddemon 5y ago
  What you're saying is true, but people don't always do what actually makes them happy - see addiction. There are teams of people out there building social media sites, games, etc. that are designed to keep you on there as long as possible. Not for you to get entertainment out of it. I think that's dangerous. Maybe in a world without work the incentives would change and these platforms might not exist in the same way. But as it stands now >50% of the people I know with too much time on their hands end up self-admittedly pissing most days away. A few of them have already decided to return to work even though they don't need to.
- el_benhameen 5y ago
  I’ve always felt pretty in touch with what I want and why, but I’d never thought about it like this. Thanks for the interesting thought.
  - munificent 5y ago
    I think our culture teaches us the wrong mental model for happiness. We think of it like wealth: a quantity to try to maximize. If 1 happiness is good, then 2 is better, 10 is really good, and 100000 is amazing. But that's not how our emotions work at all. Thanks to the hedonic treadmill, it's not possible to experience long-term joy over any consistent period. Active joyful enthusiasm is by nature an ephemeral experience. Instead of happiness, what we want long term is something more akin to peace, satisfaction, or tranquility. A sense that all is right with where we are in the world. And the model for that is much more like hunger and satiety. No one thinks that if eating one steak is good then eating a hundred steaks is great and a million is amazing. Hunger exists to address an imbalance. The goal of it is to get you back to a comfortable neutral point where you are satieted but not unpleasantly stuffed. Unhappiness works in a similar fashion. It tells us something is off balance in our emotional life. So when you find yourself craving some experience or activity and thinking "this will make me happy", it means "this will fix a thing making me unhappy". It doesn't mean that scaling that craving up will make you extra super happy.
leftbrain 5y ago
I did all that minus the video games while travelling in south and south east asia for a year and a half, and with a $20 daily budget. Gave up some of the comforts of western standard of living and got a whole lot of new friends and experiences. I have kids now and when they are old enough to move out, I’ll quit my job (programmer, and I love it) and get back out there because “The mountains are calling and I must go”
- wing-_-nuts 5y ago
  I'm curious what comforts you gave up. For me, I'd at minimum want a quiet, private room with AC if it's over 80F, and a 'non public' bathroom with a lockable door. I know that probably rules out a $20/d budget.
  - thatfrenchguy 5y ago
    Even American bodies can get used to be inside at 80F :-)
    - wing-_-nuts 5y ago
      I keep my place on 78F but I constantly have a fan on. 78F with a fan is at the edge of what I'd consider comfortable. I refuse to sweat indoors.
      - ta988 5y ago
        Then travel to colder climates, there is a common belief that the nice areas are hot and sunny. That's not my preference, I like it cold and not have to worry about sunburns and heat and so on.
  - leftbrain 5y ago
    I also preferred private rooms, but AC was not an option usually since I avoided hotels completely and stayed in cheap guesthouses available almost everywhere. Sometimes I got a fan, sometimes there were no electricity at all in the room. Hostels usually had AC but those would be in the big cities, and I’d never stay too long because they are expensive. Hell, I could have my own bamboo hut with veranda, a hammock and the ocean breeze in a country side with the price of a hostel bunk bed in a big city or a tourist hot spot! Private bathrooms I gave up on when I realized those attract many bugs I did not want to share my room with. Actually I could say you end up sharing the bathroom one way or the other. Common ones are fine as long as they can be locked and are cleaned regularly. Before I checked in at any place, I’d check the common bathrooms to make sure if I should… I would pretty quickly get adjusted to the local way of avoiding heat, which is to get up really early in the morning, rest in the afternoon and then go back out during the evening. Another pro tip that requires some planning ahead and available time is to go to the “south” during winter and to the “north” or the mountains during the hot summers.
scotty79 5y ago
I'm doing exactly that. Except for traveling. Always hated that. And climate is good enough for me where I always lived. And take out food is often declicious. So yeah. I'm just sitting at home, playing video games and ordering takeouts. Pricetag is not that high. And that's the current best answer to "What makes me happy?"
grecy 5y ago
> Unfortunately my happiness comes with a price tag It doesn't have to be a very high one though. I quit my job and spent 2 years driving from Alaska to Argentina. I poked lava with a stick, paddled with icebergs, climbed a 20,000ft active volcano, surfed, etc. etc. It cost $1,200 per month for absolutely every expense [1] Before the trip I was earning $48k CAD (about $38k USD).. I just didn't spend much. Later on I quit my job and spent three years driving all the way around Africa (35 countries around the perimeter, 54,000miles). I rode a camel and camped in the Sahara, I carried Chimpanzees, saw gorillas, petted a cheetah, saw tens of thousands of elephants in the wild, heard to lions roaring while sitting around the campfire, surfed, hiked, ate street food with friendly locals, etc. etc. That trip cost about $1,650 per month for absolutely all expenses. [2] Before that trip I was earning $72k CAD (about $57k USD). Again, I just tried hard to save and not spend much money while going to work for years) I've met plenty of people that have driven their own vehicle to 100+ countries over a ~decade for about $1,500 a month. It doesn't have to be expensive. Now I do this "for a living". I keep my expenses low and have adventures around the world. I just flew to Australia, and I'm preparing now to spend about 18 months driving all over to all the wild and remote corners I've heard about but have never seen. [1] http://theroadchoseme.com/the-price-of-adventure http://theroadchoseme.com/the-price-of-adventure [2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeR3SncZkv0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeR3SncZkv0
- bmy78 5y ago
  Now how would you do this with a wife that works and two young children in tow?
  - grecy 5y ago
    I've met plenty of families travelling around the world. It's another level of complexity, but it certainly can be done. I bumped into this family driving the length West Africa, one of the toughest routes in the world! They had an amazing time, and last we chatting they're busy saving money to go on another massive adventure! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc61AxCQQR4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc61AxCQQR4

I know exactly what makes me happy -- playing video games, eating good food, living in a nice climate (CA or Hawaii), and traveling the world. Unfortunately my happiness comes with a price tag.

david-gpu 5y ago

It may be worth keeping an open mind. Perhaps there are many other things which would make you happy if you tried them, and they may not cost a lot. Lately I'm finding joy in all sorts of pursuits that I had never thought about. A willingness to try new things was necessary.

sombremesa 5y ago

Being wealthy is like learning a favorite restaurant recipe. You start making the same food everyday, because you love it, so why not? It doesn't take very long at all for the honeymoon to be over. So what exactly was making you happy there, when you could only eat that meal occasionally in that restaurant? Was it really the food?

sergioisidoro 5y ago

You can have nice weather and nice food for an affordable price tag outside of the US. you're probably leaving something out of the description of what makes you happy

simmanian 5y ago

I was exactly like this for a while, until I realized my happiness does not have to depend on anything. Like what the sibling comment says, if you keep an open mind and try things out, you'd be surprised to see what can help you achieve sustainable happiness.

munificent 5y ago

I think it's important to understand that "what makes you happy" is much more contextual than we realize. If you're sitting outside in the freezing cold, you might think that what makes you happy is "wearing big heavy coats and drinking cocoa". That's true right now because you're fucking cold. But get out of the cold and your happiness goals may change. Often, happiness is simply "what addresses the imbalances in my life right now?" Today, you're probably busy working a 9-5 (or longer). You spend much of your time overwhelmed by the complexity of your job, delaying gratification and doing things you don't want to do. You're stuck inside all day and working through the nicest months of the year. In that context, of course all you want to do is sit outside at a beach, play some leisurely videogames, and eat good meals. But that's because your life right now has a distinct absence of downtime, nature, and leisure. When you are retired, the entire context is different and thus what makes you happy will shift too. Once you no longer have a job, you'll likely find videogames boring and understimulating. When you start taking a walk every day in the woods, you might not crave moving to Hawaii quite as much. And when you have the time to cook and savor meals every evening, eating out loses some of its lustre. Whenever the situation of your life changes, expect your happiness goals to shift too.

caddemon 5y ago
What you're saying is true, but people don't always do what actually makes them happy - see addiction. There are teams of people out there building social media sites, games, etc. that are designed to keep you on there as long as possible. Not for you to get entertainment out of it. I think that's dangerous. Maybe in a world without work the incentives would change and these platforms might not exist in the same way. But as it stands now >50% of the people I know with too much time on their hands end up self-admittedly pissing most days away. A few of them have already decided to return to work even though they don't need to.
el_benhameen 5y ago
I’ve always felt pretty in touch with what I want and why, but I’d never thought about it like this. Thanks for the interesting thought.
- munificent 5y ago
  I think our culture teaches us the wrong mental model for happiness. We think of it like wealth: a quantity to try to maximize. If 1 happiness is good, then 2 is better, 10 is really good, and 100000 is amazing. But that's not how our emotions work at all. Thanks to the hedonic treadmill, it's not possible to experience long-term joy over any consistent period. Active joyful enthusiasm is by nature an ephemeral experience. Instead of happiness, what we want long term is something more akin to peace, satisfaction, or tranquility. A sense that all is right with where we are in the world. And the model for that is much more like hunger and satiety. No one thinks that if eating one steak is good then eating a hundred steaks is great and a million is amazing. Hunger exists to address an imbalance. The goal of it is to get you back to a comfortable neutral point where you are satieted but not unpleasantly stuffed. Unhappiness works in a similar fashion. It tells us something is off balance in our emotional life. So when you find yourself craving some experience or activity and thinking "this will make me happy", it means "this will fix a thing making me unhappy". It doesn't mean that scaling that craving up will make you extra super happy.

leftbrain 5y ago

I did all that minus the video games while travelling in south and south east asia for a year and a half, and with a $20 daily budget. Gave up some of the comforts of western standard of living and got a whole lot of new friends and experiences. I have kids now and when they are old enough to move out, I’ll quit my job (programmer, and I love it) and get back out there because “The mountains are calling and I must go”

wing-_-nuts 5y ago
I'm curious what comforts you gave up. For me, I'd at minimum want a quiet, private room with AC if it's over 80F, and a 'non public' bathroom with a lockable door. I know that probably rules out a $20/d budget.
- thatfrenchguy 5y ago
  Even American bodies can get used to be inside at 80F :-)
  - wing-_-nuts 5y ago
    I keep my place on 78F but I constantly have a fan on. 78F with a fan is at the edge of what I'd consider comfortable. I refuse to sweat indoors.
    - ta988 5y ago
      Then travel to colder climates, there is a common belief that the nice areas are hot and sunny. That's not my preference, I like it cold and not have to worry about sunburns and heat and so on.
- leftbrain 5y ago
  I also preferred private rooms, but AC was not an option usually since I avoided hotels completely and stayed in cheap guesthouses available almost everywhere. Sometimes I got a fan, sometimes there were no electricity at all in the room. Hostels usually had AC but those would be in the big cities, and I’d never stay too long because they are expensive. Hell, I could have my own bamboo hut with veranda, a hammock and the ocean breeze in a country side with the price of a hostel bunk bed in a big city or a tourist hot spot! Private bathrooms I gave up on when I realized those attract many bugs I did not want to share my room with. Actually I could say you end up sharing the bathroom one way or the other. Common ones are fine as long as they can be locked and are cleaned regularly. Before I checked in at any place, I’d check the common bathrooms to make sure if I should… I would pretty quickly get adjusted to the local way of avoiding heat, which is to get up really early in the morning, rest in the afternoon and then go back out during the evening. Another pro tip that requires some planning ahead and available time is to go to the “south” during winter and to the “north” or the mountains during the hot summers.

scotty79 5y ago

I'm doing exactly that. Except for traveling. Always hated that. And climate is good enough for me where I always lived. And take out food is often declicious. So yeah. I'm just sitting at home, playing video games and ordering takeouts. Pricetag is not that high. And that's the current best answer to "What makes me happy?"

grecy 5y ago

> Unfortunately my happiness comes with a price tag It doesn't have to be a very high one though. I quit my job and spent 2 years driving from Alaska to Argentina. I poked lava with a stick, paddled with icebergs, climbed a 20,000ft active volcano, surfed, etc. etc. It cost $1,200 per month for absolutely every expense [1] Before the trip I was earning $48k CAD (about $38k USD).. I just didn't spend much. Later on I quit my job and spent three years driving all the way around Africa (35 countries around the perimeter, 54,000miles). I rode a camel and camped in the Sahara, I carried Chimpanzees, saw gorillas, petted a cheetah, saw tens of thousands of elephants in the wild, heard to lions roaring while sitting around the campfire, surfed, hiked, ate street food with friendly locals, etc. etc. That trip cost about $1,650 per month for absolutely all expenses. [2] Before that trip I was earning $72k CAD (about $57k USD). Again, I just tried hard to save and not spend much money while going to work for years) I've met plenty of people that have driven their own vehicle to 100+ countries over a ~decade for about $1,500 a month. It doesn't have to be expensive. Now I do this "for a living". I keep my expenses low and have adventures around the world. I just flew to Australia, and I'm preparing now to spend about 18 months driving all over to all the wild and remote corners I've heard about but have never seen. [1] http://theroadchoseme.com/the-price-of-adventure http://theroadchoseme.com/the-price-of-adventure [2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeR3SncZkv0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeR3SncZkv0

bmy78 5y ago
Now how would you do this with a wife that works and two young children in tow?
- grecy 5y ago
  I've met plenty of families travelling around the world. It's another level of complexity, but it certainly can be done. I bumped into this family driving the length West Africa, one of the toughest routes in the world! They had an amazing time, and last we chatting they're busy saving money to go on another massive adventure! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc61AxCQQR4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc61AxCQQR4