There's also a fallacy people fall into where they believe something doesn't affect them because they're not paying attention to it. People can be very uninten

There's also a fallacy people fall into where they believe something doesn't affect them because they're not paying attention to it. People can be very unintentionally manipulative when they think they're just not being tactful -- they can forget that they're not respecting the finite resources of the other party. Many so-called "purely technical" discussions are actually (accidentally) veiled attempts at getting someone else to do the work. Designing APIs is a political act: ignore this at your peril! :-) I'm fine dealing with respectful tactlessness, but what can grind my gears is when others demand more information or work from you without showing they know what they're asking of you, or at least that they're willing to provide anything in return. For example, sometimes people simply ask "why didn't you do it such-and-such way?" which takes very little effort on their part -- it seems to me it should be their job to compare their idea to the proposed/existing design rather than mine, unless they offer well-thought-out reasons, or otherwise have a good track record of being insightful. Something related to this fallacy is something I saw on HN years ago, about how in the feminist movement flat hierarchies ended up having a hidden power structure, which in many ways is worse than when the power structure is formalized. I guess there's some value in "RTFM," so long as whoever says this knows it's in the FM (unfortunately many times it's not).