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Yes I had to teach myself these skills in my 20s since I was blissfully unaware of how far behind in my 10s. Basically I run explicit programs for body language

Yes I had to teach myself these skills in my 20s since I was blissfully unaware of how far behind in my 10s. Basically I run explicit programs for body language and simulate other's mental states, etc. It takes a good chunk of processing power so I try to position myself higher in the hierarchy so I can just be myself and delegate the social processing to naturals. I use language transactionally as a command and interrogation method, which rubs people the wrong way. If you're the boss that's ok. If you're dependent on people that's not going to work. It is what it is, I can be obsequious if needed but it's gonna make me stupid due to computational resource constraints. People would say I'm a sociopath but I'm really nice. My empathy is turned up to 1000% so I'm very sensitive to other's emotional states oddly, though I have the coarsest ability to make others feel better, and it usually backfires. Anyway if I can figure it out it certainly can be done and there's probably a book about how to do it.

anonfornoreason 5y ago
No idea why you are downvoted here, this is exactly what I have to do (though maybe a little less extreme than you), and it's a learned skill for some. I have just always erred on the side of either being my own boss through self employment and an in-demand skill, or early on by working jobs that require extreme competency or that had a fast pace. I definitely understand exactly what you mean with transactional language and command/interrogation (I ask people to rephrase things alot when I want to confirm what they are trying to get across but aren't directly stating it).
- haskellandchill 5y ago
  I tend to get downvoted a lot. That's how I know I'm right.
barry-cotter 5y ago
> Anyway if I can figure it out it certainly can be done and there's probably a book about how to do it. It's been done. There are many, many books about it. They're not explicitly about teaching social skills though. They're about a specific subgoal of socialising that is common and deeply felt, which generalises to more or less all of social life. You're not a sociopath, you're autistic. Welcome to the club.

anonfornoreason 5y ago

No idea why you are downvoted here, this is exactly what I have to do (though maybe a little less extreme than you), and it's a learned skill for some. I have just always erred on the side of either being my own boss through self employment and an in-demand skill, or early on by working jobs that require extreme competency or that had a fast pace. I definitely understand exactly what you mean with transactional language and command/interrogation (I ask people to rephrase things alot when I want to confirm what they are trying to get across but aren't directly stating it).

haskellandchill 5y ago
I tend to get downvoted a lot. That's how I know I'm right.

barry-cotter 5y ago

> Anyway if I can figure it out it certainly can be done and there's probably a book about how to do it. It's been done. There are many, many books about it. They're not explicitly about teaching social skills though. They're about a specific subgoal of socialising that is common and deeply felt, which generalises to more or less all of social life. You're not a sociopath, you're autistic. Welcome to the club.