You spent three years trying to get someone else to first understand you and then use him as a go-between for "you" to better understand yourself. That's like d

You spent three years trying to get someone else to first understand you and then use him as a go-between for "you" to better understand yourself. That's like debugging a program running on your own computer by using a 3rd person that's completely unfamiliar with the program as your only input/output. Extremely inefficient. Psychedelics blow the door to the mind-psyche apart and place you right at the center of the cyclone (to paraphrase John Lilly). For a smart, introspective/reflective individual there is nothing more direct and arguably better: No filters, no go-betweens, an aspect of one's self is placed inside one's own mind, free to observe and experience.