I feel exactly the same. Incidentally just today I have to decide between a job that I know at a company I had been at for a while and new job with more respons

I feel exactly the same. Incidentally just today I have to decide between a job that I know at a company I had been at for a while and new job with more responsibilities, slightly lower pay, longer commute, that might boost my carrier from a "programmer" to something more. I am old in software terms and that might be one of my last chances to do that. I have a son, and spending time with him is one of the most important things for me. I am good and successful at what I am doing, but one always looks for the next thing. As you I spent a lot of time the past ten developing my spiritual side. I meditate a lot, went to 10 day silent retreat... At this junction my peace fails me, though.