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>You seem overly attached to the label of being an introvert. I didn't downvote your comments but as counterpoint, I think you and tboyd47 are too influenced

by jasode 5y ago

>You seem overly attached to the label of being an introvert. I didn't downvote your comments but as counterpoint, I think you and tboyd47 are too influenced by the idea that "introvert" is merely a label. Yes, I understand the good intentions for stressing the "label isn't destiny!" -- because we always want people to improve. That said, I'm an introvert because that's currently the best description of my stable traits. If you didn't know me, I would not look like an introvert to you because: - I'm not shy. - I don't have poor social skills. - I'm not uncomfortable around people and do enjoy parties. - I've given presentations to large audiences in Las Vegas ... however, I've always had an underlying preference for solitary activities over group gatherings. I've had this preference for as a long as I can remember even as a little boy. Even the later adult years of consulting work where I went out for drinks and dinner every night with buddies does not change that. I actually noticed the pattern of solitary pursuits in my life first -- and then I later found the word "introvert" that matched it. It's like being "right-handed" or "left-handed". I'm right-hand dominant and it's a stable trait that doesn't change even if I learn to type 'Q' and 'Z' a million times with my left hand on a QWERTY keyboard. The label "right-handed" didn't make me right-handed. And learning new skills with my left hand will improve my life but will still not change my internal right-handedness. Going to more social parties does not train me to be less introverted. Instead, it actually reveals to me how introverted I truly am. Yes, I can laugh and make small talk with everyone -- but it doesn't change the underlying feeling that I'd rather be somewhere else. If the word "introvert" is useless because some people think it's a changeable trait... then I don't know what alternative word to use to describe that unchanging stable preference that I've had all my life.

WarOnPrivacy 5y ago
This is very familiar to me. I can work a room but when that's done I want to be gone.
hilbert42 5y ago
Right, I agree with what you say. And in a number of ways, my introverted trait is for similar reasons to yours (I too have no difficulty lecturing to a large hall full of people, etc.), but what's actually relevant in this context is the reason I've mentioned in a somewhat earlier post, specifically: "<...> Of course, what's relevant to this story and these comments are the reasons behind the motivation for why some people are introverted and or why they act this way—as critically it determines whether a person considers said trait to be either distressing and unwanted or desirable and necessary—or perhaps even essential:"

by jasode 5y ago

WarOnPrivacy 5y ago

This is very familiar to me. I can work a room but when that's done I want to be gone.

hilbert42 5y ago

Right, I agree with what you say. And in a number of ways, my introverted trait is for similar reasons to yours (I too have no difficulty lecturing to a large hall full of people, etc.), but what's actually relevant in this context is the reason I've mentioned in a somewhat earlier post, specifically: "<...> Of course, what's relevant to this story and these comments are the reasons behind the motivation for why some people are introverted and or why they act this way—as critically it determines whether a person considers said trait to be either distressing and unwanted or desirable and necessary—or perhaps even essential:"