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Aye. It’s funny, perusing the other comments in this thread, how attached people are to these labels, which really have no factual basis at all. We choose the s

Aye. It’s funny, perusing the other comments in this thread, how attached people are to these labels, which really have no factual basis at all. We choose the stories that we tell about ourselves; yet we act as if the stories chose us.

MattGaiser 5y ago
I don't think it is so much attachment to labels, but rather that people use these articles to deny our preferences. "Humans are social creatures, so you will be happier" is what people reply whenever I choose to work at a hackathon alone, or prefer to skip all the social events at the office, or contemplate working remotely on a permanent basis, or back when I was in school and would go to the library to read rather than play with other children.
SamoyedFurFluff 5y ago
I wouldn’t go so extreme with this. Sometimes stories do choose us. I don’t know anyone who got to choose the circumstances of their birth, for example, or the lucky breaks and unlucky breaks that happen along the way of living. Sometimes they drastically affect our story.
- kristofferR 5y ago
  Well, the elements of the story at least. How we chose to write the story, with the elements we're handed, is our decision. We often can't affect what happens in the outside world, but how we interpret what happens is up to us.
kristofferR 5y ago
The stories we tell about ourselves also massively shape ourselves. We always act how we think, so people should choose stories that are beneficial instead of detrimental. "I'm a introvert who can't be comfortable around other people" and "My social skills and confidence aren't where they should be, I need to keep working on that" are two similar stories with totally different outcomes.
- sokoloff 5y ago
  I don’t see introversion as “can’t be comfortable around other people” so much as “doesn’t have strong desire to be around other people” (or the best explanation I’ve heard is “being around other people takes energy rather than gives energy”). I’m perfectly content to not be around other people for very long periods of time, like months at a time, other than buying groceries/supplies. Doesn’t bother me a bit, while it would drive my wife and kids crazy. I’m also perfectly fine when I am around other people, so in my case at least, it’s just a (lack of) preference rather than an inability.
areeh 5y ago
As someone who is somewhat dismissive of labels, I've started thinking more about this. In a context/culture where the way you act isn't as accepted/appreciated it seems labels are a useful thing to defend your way and for people to rally around (since a single term for something makes it easier to recognize, for instance). I think it's natural for them to show up in the kind of culture clash that happens when groups of people who don't feel as accepted/appreciated try to make a positive space for themselves. Sorry for the vague wording

MattGaiser 5y ago

I don't think it is so much attachment to labels, but rather that people use these articles to deny our preferences. "Humans are social creatures, so you will be happier" is what people reply whenever I choose to work at a hackathon alone, or prefer to skip all the social events at the office, or contemplate working remotely on a permanent basis, or back when I was in school and would go to the library to read rather than play with other children.

SamoyedFurFluff 5y ago

I wouldn’t go so extreme with this. Sometimes stories do choose us. I don’t know anyone who got to choose the circumstances of their birth, for example, or the lucky breaks and unlucky breaks that happen along the way of living. Sometimes they drastically affect our story.

kristofferR 5y ago
Well, the elements of the story at least. How we chose to write the story, with the elements we're handed, is our decision. We often can't affect what happens in the outside world, but how we interpret what happens is up to us.

kristofferR 5y ago

The stories we tell about ourselves also massively shape ourselves. We always act how we think, so people should choose stories that are beneficial instead of detrimental. "I'm a introvert who can't be comfortable around other people" and "My social skills and confidence aren't where they should be, I need to keep working on that" are two similar stories with totally different outcomes.

sokoloff 5y ago
I don’t see introversion as “can’t be comfortable around other people” so much as “doesn’t have strong desire to be around other people” (or the best explanation I’ve heard is “being around other people takes energy rather than gives energy”). I’m perfectly content to not be around other people for very long periods of time, like months at a time, other than buying groceries/supplies. Doesn’t bother me a bit, while it would drive my wife and kids crazy. I’m also perfectly fine when I am around other people, so in my case at least, it’s just a (lack of) preference rather than an inability.

areeh 5y ago

As someone who is somewhat dismissive of labels, I've started thinking more about this. In a context/culture where the way you act isn't as accepted/appreciated it seems labels are a useful thing to defend your way and for people to rally around (since a single term for something makes it easier to recognize, for instance). I think it's natural for them to show up in the kind of culture clash that happens when groups of people who don't feel as accepted/appreciated try to make a positive space for themselves. Sorry for the vague wording