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>a book that tells you stuff like “remember people’s names” and “make them feel important,” which seems benign, but should only seem surprising to a child, and
by nazgulnarsil 5y ago
>a book that tells you stuff like “remember people’s names” and “make them feel important,” which seems benign, but should only seem surprising to a child, and should not be something you have to unnaturally force your body to do.
there is much good in pointing out the scamminess of the self-help industry, but this is a good example of making exactly the sort of assumptions the author is railing against. Many basic life lessons that 'should be unsurprising' are extremely important for people who grew up in contexts of emotional neglect.
- rednerrus 5y agoThis so much!!!
- nickff 5y agoIt's also useful to remind ourselves to actually apply those lessons; many of us 'know', but fail to 'do' on a regular basis.
- nyokodo 5y ago> Many basic life lessons that 'should be unsurprising' are extremely important for people who grew up in contexts of emotional neglect. Or for the neurologically atypical, or absolutely everyone since we all have obvious things that are hard due to our personality and regular reminders are helpful.
- hndirect 5y agoThe wording can also help to codify it in your mind. Or offer a shift in perspective, like this: "Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping"
- dsego 5y agoI'm reading this book right now. And this sentence is unfairly dismissive and misrepresents the book. It's not just a book that tells you to "remember names" and "make people feel important". Maybe if you only take a superficial reading. The anecdotes described seemingly tell you obvious things, but for me it underlines some useful and deep truths about basic human psychology and how to leverage it when interacting with fellow human beings. And for almost every rule or anecdote described I can recount situations in my life where those lessons could've been applied to avoid conflicts.
- tungsten555 5y agoThey definitely did not read this book. A few lines down in the sidenote Zitron makes a point of praising a few books in the genre he HAS read, and those ones provide some nuance. And I completely agree, each chapter had its own stories and players, lively tales to illustrate the chapter's maxim.