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Throwaway for obvious reasons. I'd caution you against getting too smug about this outlook. > Socialization is still a concern. But socialize your children to

Throwaway for obvious reasons. I'd caution you against getting too smug about this outlook. > Socialization is still a concern. But socialize your children to adult society. They don't need to be socialized to public school society. I was homeschooled and my parents explicitly went for this approach. It's a great way of turning out a materially successful miserable loner; perfect adult-pleasers who've never had real friends. You may think you're only cutting them off from bullying or emojispeak or whatever, but what you're really eliminating are opportunities to learn the dynamics of peer relationships. And no, socialization with other homeschooled kids doesn't count. Parents tend to vastly underestimate the importance of cultural fluency in the formation of peer relationships, and I think that's a tragic detriment to a lot of kids, especially the ones (like me) who internalize the sort of bullshit elitist attitudes that often inform non religious decisions to homeschool. And yes - my parents weren't religious and were highly educated on all the trendiest homeschooling topics. I'm obviously fairly steamed about this and deeply personally biased, so take my words with a grain of salt. This isn't intended as a personal attack in any sense.

abnry 5y ago
> the importance of cultural fluency in the formation of peer relationships Fluency in the culture is crap. Are we really supposed to be glad our kids know all the Cardi B songs?
- throwaway_hs 5y ago
  If that's what their friends are talking about over the lunch table, then absolutely. Or, do you let your taste in music dictate your kids' social horizons?
  - abnry 5y ago
    It's not the music, it is the soft-core (if even) pornography. Just because "everyone is doing it" does not make it worth doing just to fit in.
    - dragonwriter 5y ago
      > It's not the music, it is the soft-core (if even) pornography So, the older generations’ complaint about popular musicians since at least Elvis’ hips.
      - abnry 5y ago
        Your eyes are closed if you haven't noticed a massive difference between the years of Elvis and today.
        throwaway_hs 5y ago
        This is basically verbatim the logic that denied me a childhood, just time-shifted a bit. Your kids may not thank you for it. I think your responses have made my point way more eloquently than I could do myself, so I guess I'll leave it here.
        abnry 5y ago
        And I'll reiterate: Just because "everyone is doing it" does not make it worth doing just to fit in. I urge you to consider that fitting into the culture isn't worth it if the culture is bad. You may not see the culture's taste in music as bad, which is fair, but I am sure in other cultures (say in highly restrictive and conservative cultures) you'd be ashamed to be culturally literate (antebellum south? Jim Crow era?).
        em-bee 5y ago
        i am going to have to disagree. you make it sound like that becoming a loner is a better option than fitting in with the cardi b crowd. but that is a false alternative. if the cardi b crowd is not something you want to subject your kids to, then you need to provide an alternative community for them. you can't just cut them off from everyone just because you don't like their culture.
        watwut 5y ago
- throwawaygh 5y ago
  > Fluency in the culture is crap. Are we really supposed to be glad our kids know all the Cardi B songs? OP predicts your reply, just replace "bullying or emojispeak" with Cardi B in his original post. Also, kids have known and talked graphically about sex since the days of Elvis. I've been told even the ancient greeks knew what sex was.
- Noos 5y ago
  Have you grown up like this? I have. It's a lot more alienating than you think. In my case it was a religious upbringing with little outside cultural influences, and it does make it hard to interact and socialize with others. You don't have shared experiences or languages. There's usually only a small amount of children who share what you experienced, and you don't always understand when they are joking, or how to deal with situations, or even what they are saying. And many times the kids you do know are weird or worse than those your parents think they are protecting you from.
  - christophilus 5y ago
    It’s all anecdotal until we have some systematic way to study things. I know plenty of homeschooled kids who are now perfectly happy, well adjusted adults. The only thing I can see that they have in common is a tendency to think for themselves. Most of them are now homeschooling their kids. And their kids are also happy and well adjusted— much more so than the kids I went to school with. (I’m a maladjusted product of mostly standard education, so take this with a grain of salt.)

abnry 5y ago

> the importance of cultural fluency in the formation of peer relationships Fluency in the culture is crap. Are we really supposed to be glad our kids know all the Cardi B songs?

throwaway_hs 5y ago
If that's what their friends are talking about over the lunch table, then absolutely. Or, do you let your taste in music dictate your kids' social horizons?
- abnry 5y ago
  It's not the music, it is the soft-core (if even) pornography. Just because "everyone is doing it" does not make it worth doing just to fit in.
  - dragonwriter 5y ago
    > It's not the music, it is the soft-core (if even) pornography So, the older generations’ complaint about popular musicians since at least Elvis’ hips.
    - abnry 5y ago
      Your eyes are closed if you haven't noticed a massive difference between the years of Elvis and today.
      - throwaway_hs 5y ago
        This is basically verbatim the logic that denied me a childhood, just time-shifted a bit. Your kids may not thank you for it. I think your responses have made my point way more eloquently than I could do myself, so I guess I'll leave it here.
        abnry 5y ago
        And I'll reiterate: Just because "everyone is doing it" does not make it worth doing just to fit in. I urge you to consider that fitting into the culture isn't worth it if the culture is bad. You may not see the culture's taste in music as bad, which is fair, but I am sure in other cultures (say in highly restrictive and conservative cultures) you'd be ashamed to be culturally literate (antebellum south? Jim Crow era?).
        em-bee 5y ago
        i am going to have to disagree. you make it sound like that becoming a loner is a better option than fitting in with the cardi b crowd. but that is a false alternative. if the cardi b crowd is not something you want to subject your kids to, then you need to provide an alternative community for them. you can't just cut them off from everyone just because you don't like their culture.
      - watwut 5y ago
throwawaygh 5y ago
> Fluency in the culture is crap. Are we really supposed to be glad our kids know all the Cardi B songs? OP predicts your reply, just replace "bullying or emojispeak" with Cardi B in his original post. Also, kids have known and talked graphically about sex since the days of Elvis. I've been told even the ancient greeks knew what sex was.
Noos 5y ago
Have you grown up like this? I have. It's a lot more alienating than you think. In my case it was a religious upbringing with little outside cultural influences, and it does make it hard to interact and socialize with others. You don't have shared experiences or languages. There's usually only a small amount of children who share what you experienced, and you don't always understand when they are joking, or how to deal with situations, or even what they are saying. And many times the kids you do know are weird or worse than those your parents think they are protecting you from.
- christophilus 5y ago
  It’s all anecdotal until we have some systematic way to study things. I know plenty of homeschooled kids who are now perfectly happy, well adjusted adults. The only thing I can see that they have in common is a tendency to think for themselves. Most of them are now homeschooling their kids. And their kids are also happy and well adjusted— much more so than the kids I went to school with. (I’m a maladjusted product of mostly standard education, so take this with a grain of salt.)