From the original Onion article: > "The U.S. told us they cared and that they had our best interests at heart, and I really thought this time might be differen

From the original Onion article: > "The U.S. told us they cared and that they had our best interests at heart, and I really thought this time might be different, but they were just as selfish as the Soviets and the British," said Pashtun tribal leader Ashraf Rahman Durrani, referring to Afghanistan's history of abusive relationships. "We're a strong, proud nation, though. We've been through a lot, and we'll find a way to get through this, too." https://www.theonion.com/u-s-quietly-slips-out-of-afghanistan-in-dead-of-night-1819572778 https://www.theonion.com/u-s-quietly-slips-out-of-afghanista...