Hey, I would echo @alexpetralia here - seeking some support might be really positive. It definitely takes some time and maybe a few tries to find the right pers

Hey, I would echo @alexpetralia here - seeking some support might be really positive. It definitely takes some time and maybe a few tries to find the right person you can talk to, but I'd recommend persevering. I have had some very positive moments in therapy which have changed my outlook completely; and then meditation / mindfulness down the line. This sounds trite, and it isn't supposed to - but don't give up on this stuff, you have it in you, you just need to find it.