> Is that me becoming more of an asshole with age? Sort of, but I don't mean that in a bad way! Many of us experience rough times coming to terms with how to

> Is that me becoming more of an asshole with age? Sort of, but I don't mean that in a bad way! Many of us experience rough times coming to terms with how to function in an organization and how to develop professionally. In my opinion, after that experience becomes internalized we end up behaving in various different ways when the tables are turned and we become "part of the landscape" for newcomers. Some people believe that others must face the same challenges they had, that suffering is not only inevitable but required as part of the path to mastery. It's very much like a Calvinistic way of thinking where people must prove themselves worthy before they are given consideration in the eyes of god (or in the case of a workplace, senior practitioners). I think of this as "the stackoverflow" approach. It helps people out because it forces the student to formulate valid questions and uses reward or punishment as incentives. Others, seem to model their behavior in an opposite way. They remember the confusion they experienced and strive to help out the newcomer. They try to provide some measure of "guard rails" so the newcomer doesn't have to crash and burn as much as they did. These people tend to take the "answering" of questions more seriously, and often end up asking questions to the student instead of just answering, evaluating their responses, and then asking more questions. This is like a Socratic approach and it challenges the student to come up with their own answers. It ALSO works. Which of these is correct? Neither (or both). They're just ways of responding and everyone has encountered both modes and probably behaves in either way depending on the situation. Some of us have personalities that naturally tend towards one or the other. I think that whatever approach is taken, it is super important to not dismiss the student. People do need encouragement, not necessarily with every interaction, but they need to know it's OK to "not know" and that their suffering is something we all experience. This helps to create a sense of psychological safety.