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"In unrelated news, piracy levels have steadily increased since Microsoft unveiled the latest version of their popular OS. Bizzarly pirates seem to be targettin

"In unrelated news, piracy levels have steadily increased since Microsoft unveiled the latest version of their popular OS. Bizzarly pirates seem to be targetting the 'Pro' variant exclusively. Microsoft officials stated that this is a worrying sign that even stronger online security and surveillance is necessary. The company has therefore been working on a new authentication system, which will require the user to be hooked up to an EEG at all times to remain connected to their session. Microsoft said this will be their most secure platform yet!"

devetec 5y ago
You can't really pirate Windows. They offer download links for free for anyone to use. You can use it for free and while you have an "Activate Windows" watermark, it'd be fine. The only way to get Windows Pro would be to get a license key, which can't really be pirated also.
- snoopen 5y ago
  You can certainly pirate Windows, even Pro, insofar as activating it without paying for a license.
  - devetec 5y ago
    Really? did not know that.
- bni 5y ago
  KMS emulator
  - Santosh83 5y ago
    This is precisely what a mandatory TPM can finally deal with.
scrps 5y ago
Why EEG though? Just link it to DNA. Plus added bonus of hardware lock-in for MS to roll out some new biometric hardware, I think SmartPrick would be an apt name for it.
- tpoacher 5y ago
  "MS is proud to announce our combined EEG+SmartPrick based 'always connected' technology..."