Needed a thing for a project, so I built it, only to find out the next day when I showed it to a friend that I had basically built a really terrible crayon-vers

Needed a thing for a project, so I built it, only to find out the next day when I showed it to a friend that I had basically built a really terrible crayon-version of json web tokens. Surely I'm not the only one this happens to.. Anyway, here we go, simple session auth as a service. Roast me if you will. I deserve it.