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I remember similar instances as a kid and they often ended up in fights. I wonder if there is a correlation between bullying and kids fighting. I remember ver

I remember similar instances as a kid and they often ended up in fights. I wonder if there is a correlation between bullying and kids fighting. I remember very few instances of bullying back in my times and every time it happened, either the target stood up for themselves or someone else did. I got my nose broken once defending someone and that was nothing rare. If you made fun of someone you were similarly risking a right on your face. At the same time, if you reacted to verbal bullying, you showed a weakness, you showed you care. I think these two factors worked together to limit bullying. Once we taught kids not to fight anymore, the balance got broken and bullying surged. Most of the jokes I received were racially motivated, as one of the few black kids around; at the same time I definitely made jokes that implied people being gay without them wanting to admit that. I'm sure that caused a lot of hurt and that all of this would be enough to call the Twitter woke police nowadays. And yet, I feel the environment in schools was much much healthier back then.

lkramer 5y ago
Without knowing your age and location, I'm going to suggest this is probably survivor bias, and I'm very glad you were able to stand up to it and not be affected, but I saw quite a lot of bullying when I went to school (80s and 90s, Scandinavia), in one case enough to make someone change school.
asteroidbelt 5y ago
> if you reacted to verbal bullying, you showed a weakness, you showed you care. This is not how it works. If you simply ignore verbal bullying, and the next attempt, and the next, eventually you may become an outcast at best, of the amount of bullying will be increased at worst. You show your weakness if your reaction had signs of weakness (like weeping). If you defend yourself, it is not weakness. > Once we taught kids not to fight anymore People should teach their kids not to start a fight. But their cannot teach other parents kids. And they should teach their kids how to fight back.
deleted 5y ago
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klyrs 5y ago
I personally found success in self deprecation. Bully says I drink pee, I escalate and say I eat poo. This is so far off script, the bully stammers and I walk away. Not great for the self esteem, it turns out, but together with running fast, I avoided the worst of it. My mom didn't appreciate that I was also badmouthing her to spike the dozens into the ground, tho

lkramer 5y ago

Without knowing your age and location, I'm going to suggest this is probably survivor bias, and I'm very glad you were able to stand up to it and not be affected, but I saw quite a lot of bullying when I went to school (80s and 90s, Scandinavia), in one case enough to make someone change school.

asteroidbelt 5y ago

> if you reacted to verbal bullying, you showed a weakness, you showed you care. This is not how it works. If you simply ignore verbal bullying, and the next attempt, and the next, eventually you may become an outcast at best, of the amount of bullying will be increased at worst. You show your weakness if your reaction had signs of weakness (like weeping). If you defend yourself, it is not weakness. > Once we taught kids not to fight anymore People should teach their kids not to start a fight. But their cannot teach other parents kids. And they should teach their kids how to fight back.

deleted 5y ago

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klyrs 5y ago

I personally found success in self deprecation. Bully says I drink pee, I escalate and say I eat poo. This is so far off script, the bully stammers and I walk away. Not great for the self esteem, it turns out, but together with running fast, I avoided the worst of it. My mom didn't appreciate that I was also badmouthing her to spike the dozens into the ground, tho