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> Parents of children called Alexa say their daughters are being bullied This is, as they say now, disturbing and shocking. First, if some child is chosen to

> Parents of children called Alexa say their daughters are being bullied This is, as they say now, disturbing and shocking. First, if some child is chosen to be a target for bullying, then the name is just one of thousands reasons to do so. If it is not name, then something else, surname, dress style, hair color, birthmark, height, whatever. In a different situation the same name can a reason to be envy of that person name for example. Second, likely these "parents" exaggerated the situation for their 15 seconds of fame: nobody is going to write an article about a child not being bullied about name "Alexa". Third, this might be another sign of victimhood culture. They teach their children to be a victim and be proud of it instead of teaching their children how to defend themselves: - Alexa, play disco - I'm sorry, I don't recognize your accent - Alexa, play disco - La-la-la, there is a boy named George, he is not very smart, this is a disco song - Alexa, play disco - Sure, it will cost you a quid - Alexa, play disco - I didn't recognize the command, please repeat louder - Alexa, play disco - You are dumb, aren't you?

necovek 5y ago
While there is certainly a point to learning to deal with unwelcoming environment, you may be asking too much of kids (note that all the kids that can speak and understand language, including those from ages 2 to very sensitive teenage years, can be the butt of these jokes). I also imagine that these kids do not have the experience of Alexa products because that would be very confusing at home, so they don't have the proper knowledge to come up with such "smart" jokes like you propose, esp at an early age. And to top it off, that would only work in a regular setting where kids return to regularly (school, friends, family). In a playground where the kid is a new one, jokes will always restart.
- polotics 5y ago
  The point about learning to deal with unwelcoming environments is also that, after more than 30 years, the fighting spirit and a certain degree of agressive stance is still in me. The main skill is to avoid accidents: don't kick the head!
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  - asteroidbelt 5y ago
    As one great man said: you need to have the capacity for danger, but you need to learn how to not use it except when it's necessary.
- asteroidbelt 5y ago
  If a child was "bullied" with Alexa once, it's a part of growing up: what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. And after that case a good parent can explain a child what Alexa is and role-play that scenario to make a child prepared to deal with it in the future. Children grow up by getting into troubles and learning to deal with them. For that reason, for example, unsafe playgrounds are beneficial for children (google it).
  - rhn_mk1 5y ago
    > For that reason, for example, unsafe playgrounds are beneficial for children (google it). Why won't you google it for the shared benefit of all of us? It's an interesting topic, after all.
    - asteroidbelt 5y ago
      There were many article in the media around 2012, I think this article https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3499858/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3499858/ started the discussion. It is short and not a study, but it has statements with links, like this: > Eager and Little describe a risk deprived child as more prone to problems such as obesity, mental health concerns, lack of independence, and a decrease in learning, perception and judgment skills, created when risk is removed from play and restrictions are too high.
      - watwut 5y ago
        The risk there is skinned knee or mild fall. Not being bullying target. None of those structures is actually danherous in meaningfull sense.
        asteroidbelt 5y ago
        > Not being bullying target. Being bullied once is perfectly safe. It happens to virtually everyone many times during they grow up. > None of those structures is actually danherous in meaningfull sense. A child can fall and break a leg, but otherwise it is safe in meaningful sense.
jokethrowaway 5y ago
I remember similar instances as a kid and they often ended up in fights. I wonder if there is a correlation between bullying and kids fighting. I remember very few instances of bullying back in my times and every time it happened, either the target stood up for themselves or someone else did. I got my nose broken once defending someone and that was nothing rare. If you made fun of someone you were similarly risking a right on your face. At the same time, if you reacted to verbal bullying, you showed a weakness, you showed you care. I think these two factors worked together to limit bullying. Once we taught kids not to fight anymore, the balance got broken and bullying surged. Most of the jokes I received were racially motivated, as one of the few black kids around; at the same time I definitely made jokes that implied people being gay without them wanting to admit that. I'm sure that caused a lot of hurt and that all of this would be enough to call the Twitter woke police nowadays. And yet, I feel the environment in schools was much much healthier back then.
- lkramer 5y ago
  Without knowing your age and location, I'm going to suggest this is probably survivor bias, and I'm very glad you were able to stand up to it and not be affected, but I saw quite a lot of bullying when I went to school (80s and 90s, Scandinavia), in one case enough to make someone change school.
- asteroidbelt 5y ago
  > if you reacted to verbal bullying, you showed a weakness, you showed you care. This is not how it works. If you simply ignore verbal bullying, and the next attempt, and the next, eventually you may become an outcast at best, of the amount of bullying will be increased at worst. You show your weakness if your reaction had signs of weakness (like weeping). If you defend yourself, it is not weakness. > Once we taught kids not to fight anymore People should teach their kids not to start a fight. But their cannot teach other parents kids. And they should teach their kids how to fight back.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- klyrs 5y ago
lkramer 5y ago
As someone who was, to some extend, bullied for my unusual name as a child, it's not really that easy. You enter a spiral where your lack of confidence in something that is fundamental you (your name) makes it worse, and that in turn makes it easier to pick on you for other reasons (or no reason at all). It's like the famous thread, when pulled unravel everything. And you're right, it could easily be something else (children are cruel) but a name is an easy place to start. This is also why I look in wonder at some of the names parents give their children these days and why I gave my own a very common name.
- Brian_K_White 5y ago
  I think there is no single right answer for that. I hate boring common things. If I had an unusual name I surely would have been bullied for it, but I was bullied anyway for my own innate behavior. And those are facets of me that I own and love, and did even as a child. As a very ypung kid I didn't consciously recognize the potential value of standing out, I just mean I knew the things that made me different were good things that I was not going to change. I love being distinctive and interesting. I wish my name was special. I have very common first and last names so it's hard to prove I would have liked living with a weird one, but I have a somewhat uncommon middle name and I actively incorporate that into my identity. I include my middle initial everywhere I write my name, and I use f.fullmiddle.l as my gmail etc. Those little things mean it gets remarked on and every now and then I end up explaining it to someone, and the relative it comes from who I admire. This is all just to say that different people react differently to the same inputs. There probably is no safe default for everyone. That which was bad for you would be good for someone else, and the reverse is also true, that which would have been good for you would have been bad for someone else. For some people, the very safeness of a safe choice is itself the harm. In the end, life is a dice roll. You don't get to choose your parents social standing or your genetics or country of birth, and as a parent you can't know ahead of time what decisions today will turn out to have been the best. Today I wish I wasn't circumcised, but I don't hold it against my parents because in the US in 1970 I think it was just plain universal, and my mom especially is not the weird-loving eccentric willing to buck the system that I am. She had to make decicions the only way she could. There is physically no other possible way to do it.
Brian_K_White 5y ago
What grief should I come visit on you, so that you can prove your point by accepting that the responsibility is all on you to deal with my action and not even 50% mine for commiting the action?

necovek 5y ago

While there is certainly a point to learning to deal with unwelcoming environment, you may be asking too much of kids (note that all the kids that can speak and understand language, including those from ages 2 to very sensitive teenage years, can be the butt of these jokes). I also imagine that these kids do not have the experience of Alexa products because that would be very confusing at home, so they don't have the proper knowledge to come up with such "smart" jokes like you propose, esp at an early age. And to top it off, that would only work in a regular setting where kids return to regularly (school, friends, family). In a playground where the kid is a new one, jokes will always restart.

polotics 5y ago
The point about learning to deal with unwelcoming environments is also that, after more than 30 years, the fighting spirit and a certain degree of agressive stance is still in me. The main skill is to avoid accidents: don't kick the head!
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- asteroidbelt 5y ago
  As one great man said: you need to have the capacity for danger, but you need to learn how to not use it except when it's necessary.
asteroidbelt 5y ago
If a child was "bullied" with Alexa once, it's a part of growing up: what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. And after that case a good parent can explain a child what Alexa is and role-play that scenario to make a child prepared to deal with it in the future. Children grow up by getting into troubles and learning to deal with them. For that reason, for example, unsafe playgrounds are beneficial for children (google it).
- rhn_mk1 5y ago
  > For that reason, for example, unsafe playgrounds are beneficial for children (google it). Why won't you google it for the shared benefit of all of us? It's an interesting topic, after all.
  - asteroidbelt 5y ago
    There were many article in the media around 2012, I think this article https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3499858/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3499858/ started the discussion. It is short and not a study, but it has statements with links, like this: > Eager and Little describe a risk deprived child as more prone to problems such as obesity, mental health concerns, lack of independence, and a decrease in learning, perception and judgment skills, created when risk is removed from play and restrictions are too high.
    - watwut 5y ago
      The risk there is skinned knee or mild fall. Not being bullying target. None of those structures is actually danherous in meaningfull sense.
      - asteroidbelt 5y ago
        > Not being bullying target. Being bullied once is perfectly safe. It happens to virtually everyone many times during they grow up. > None of those structures is actually danherous in meaningfull sense. A child can fall and break a leg, but otherwise it is safe in meaningful sense.

jokethrowaway 5y ago

I remember similar instances as a kid and they often ended up in fights. I wonder if there is a correlation between bullying and kids fighting. I remember very few instances of bullying back in my times and every time it happened, either the target stood up for themselves or someone else did. I got my nose broken once defending someone and that was nothing rare. If you made fun of someone you were similarly risking a right on your face. At the same time, if you reacted to verbal bullying, you showed a weakness, you showed you care. I think these two factors worked together to limit bullying. Once we taught kids not to fight anymore, the balance got broken and bullying surged. Most of the jokes I received were racially motivated, as one of the few black kids around; at the same time I definitely made jokes that implied people being gay without them wanting to admit that. I'm sure that caused a lot of hurt and that all of this would be enough to call the Twitter woke police nowadays. And yet, I feel the environment in schools was much much healthier back then.

lkramer 5y ago
Without knowing your age and location, I'm going to suggest this is probably survivor bias, and I'm very glad you were able to stand up to it and not be affected, but I saw quite a lot of bullying when I went to school (80s and 90s, Scandinavia), in one case enough to make someone change school.
asteroidbelt 5y ago
> if you reacted to verbal bullying, you showed a weakness, you showed you care. This is not how it works. If you simply ignore verbal bullying, and the next attempt, and the next, eventually you may become an outcast at best, of the amount of bullying will be increased at worst. You show your weakness if your reaction had signs of weakness (like weeping). If you defend yourself, it is not weakness. > Once we taught kids not to fight anymore People should teach their kids not to start a fight. But their cannot teach other parents kids. And they should teach their kids how to fight back.
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
klyrs 5y ago

lkramer 5y ago

As someone who was, to some extend, bullied for my unusual name as a child, it's not really that easy. You enter a spiral where your lack of confidence in something that is fundamental you (your name) makes it worse, and that in turn makes it easier to pick on you for other reasons (or no reason at all). It's like the famous thread, when pulled unravel everything. And you're right, it could easily be something else (children are cruel) but a name is an easy place to start. This is also why I look in wonder at some of the names parents give their children these days and why I gave my own a very common name.

Brian_K_White 5y ago
I think there is no single right answer for that. I hate boring common things. If I had an unusual name I surely would have been bullied for it, but I was bullied anyway for my own innate behavior. And those are facets of me that I own and love, and did even as a child. As a very ypung kid I didn't consciously recognize the potential value of standing out, I just mean I knew the things that made me different were good things that I was not going to change. I love being distinctive and interesting. I wish my name was special. I have very common first and last names so it's hard to prove I would have liked living with a weird one, but I have a somewhat uncommon middle name and I actively incorporate that into my identity. I include my middle initial everywhere I write my name, and I use f.fullmiddle.l as my gmail etc. Those little things mean it gets remarked on and every now and then I end up explaining it to someone, and the relative it comes from who I admire. This is all just to say that different people react differently to the same inputs. There probably is no safe default for everyone. That which was bad for you would be good for someone else, and the reverse is also true, that which would have been good for you would have been bad for someone else. For some people, the very safeness of a safe choice is itself the harm. In the end, life is a dice roll. You don't get to choose your parents social standing or your genetics or country of birth, and as a parent you can't know ahead of time what decisions today will turn out to have been the best. Today I wish I wasn't circumcised, but I don't hold it against my parents because in the US in 1970 I think it was just plain universal, and my mom especially is not the weird-loving eccentric willing to buck the system that I am. She had to make decicions the only way she could. There is physically no other possible way to do it.

Brian_K_White 5y ago

What grief should I come visit on you, so that you can prove your point by accepting that the responsibility is all on you to deal with my action and not even 50% mine for commiting the action?