Ah young grasshopper, I went to school in the 70s when the big boogeyman was global _cooling_: a new ice age, vast sheets of ice sweeping across the American co

Ah young grasshopper, I went to school in the 70s when the big boogeyman was global _cooling_: a new ice age, vast sheets of ice sweeping across the American continent, mammoths roaming the frigid wastes, Time Magazine covers and so on. Turns out, they were correct: the earth has been gently cooling down since the 1930s, a period so hot in this country that my grandparents were forced to move west because of the heat. So I know climate scientists are full of shit today. Carbon dioxide does not cause global warming. It's the other way around: warmer weather causes more carbon dioxide outgassing by the oceans. Colder water holds CO2 better as anyone who's had a warm beer knows all too well. Which is awesome since carbon is the building block of all life.