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I'm really glad to see this discussion on Hacker News. I'd like to point out that this is a two sided coin. I manage people and I am having a hard time with one

I'm really glad to see this discussion on Hacker News. I'd like to point out that this is a two sided coin. I manage people and I am having a hard time with one direct report whose performance is not up to the mark. I've raised the problems gently but seems like the message isn't getting across. If anyone has any book suggestions on how to have some of these conversations and improve performance, I'd really appreciate it.

zeepzeep 5y ago
I wish someone would just clearly tell me if I'm doing bad. Something along the lines of "we think you haven't been performing as well as you used to lately" would be awesome to hear. (Sure it ruins my day, but it might fix a problem before I lose my job.) I'm just not sure if I'm doing well in my job, if I am tell me, if I'm not tell me, just be honest.
- pavlov 5y ago
  > “we think you haven't been performing as well as you used to lately” Also make sure to qualify this with actual examples of underperformance: “In March you gave a three-week estimate for roadmap item X, but it wasn’t completed until June. Amy from team Y reached out to me several times with questions about its status, so communication hasn’t been up to your usual standard.” If the manager doesn’t give the report something concrete to reflect on, they will only create more vague angst and frustration that will accelerate that person’s exit plans.
  - brutus1213 5y ago
    This is really helpful. What if the engineer says "well .. this is complex and I can't really provide an estimate/depends on availability of an HPC and I have no idea how long the job will be stuck in the queue, etc."? When faced with this type of response I try to dig into the detail but it feels to me the employee gives me more molasses. Any suggestion on how to deal with this situation?
    - sshumaker 5y ago
      Coach: “What’s the real challenge here for you?” “What do you need to get to an estimate?” Offer help: “What do you need to get unblocked?” “Let’s sit down together and see if we can figure this out.” Hold them accountable: “I understand, but we need to be keeping our partners up to date.” “Can you give me a date for a date?” Teach: “Here’s what I recommend…” Etc. You as a manager should be actively helping your employee work through the issue - whether it’s external or internal (growth for them).
- higeorge13 5y ago
  I have a direct report who gets so defensive, it’s almost impossible to provide any honest feedback even in code reviews. Some people can appreciate feedback early and improve, others will see it as a personal attack and become offended. People management is also a matter of context.
BLKNSLVR 5y ago
Be increasingly direct, but make sure they know that you'd rather help them improve, or work out what the problem may be, than have them out the door. It's a tough gig. Plan some kind of approach and run it by a friend or partner to see how it might come across from the outside.
dukeme09 5y ago
Radical Candor by Kim Scott speaks directly about this topic in the opening chapters and also the consequences of avoiding the conversation, because it makes you as the manager feel awkward. I highly recommend the book and I find it even better than Difficult Conversations or Crucial Conversations.
sjg007 5y ago
Are you communicating goals and expectations clearly?

zeepzeep 5y ago

I wish someone would just clearly tell me if I'm doing bad. Something along the lines of "we think you haven't been performing as well as you used to lately" would be awesome to hear. (Sure it ruins my day, but it might fix a problem before I lose my job.) I'm just not sure if I'm doing well in my job, if I am tell me, if I'm not tell me, just be honest.

pavlov 5y ago
> “we think you haven't been performing as well as you used to lately” Also make sure to qualify this with actual examples of underperformance: “In March you gave a three-week estimate for roadmap item X, but it wasn’t completed until June. Amy from team Y reached out to me several times with questions about its status, so communication hasn’t been up to your usual standard.” If the manager doesn’t give the report something concrete to reflect on, they will only create more vague angst and frustration that will accelerate that person’s exit plans.
- brutus1213 5y ago
  This is really helpful. What if the engineer says "well .. this is complex and I can't really provide an estimate/depends on availability of an HPC and I have no idea how long the job will be stuck in the queue, etc."? When faced with this type of response I try to dig into the detail but it feels to me the employee gives me more molasses. Any suggestion on how to deal with this situation?
  - sshumaker 5y ago
    Coach: “What’s the real challenge here for you?” “What do you need to get to an estimate?” Offer help: “What do you need to get unblocked?” “Let’s sit down together and see if we can figure this out.” Hold them accountable: “I understand, but we need to be keeping our partners up to date.” “Can you give me a date for a date?” Teach: “Here’s what I recommend…” Etc. You as a manager should be actively helping your employee work through the issue - whether it’s external or internal (growth for them).
higeorge13 5y ago
I have a direct report who gets so defensive, it’s almost impossible to provide any honest feedback even in code reviews. Some people can appreciate feedback early and improve, others will see it as a personal attack and become offended. People management is also a matter of context.

BLKNSLVR 5y ago

Be increasingly direct, but make sure they know that you'd rather help them improve, or work out what the problem may be, than have them out the door. It's a tough gig. Plan some kind of approach and run it by a friend or partner to see how it might come across from the outside.

dukeme09 5y ago

Radical Candor by Kim Scott speaks directly about this topic in the opening chapters and also the consequences of avoiding the conversation, because it makes you as the manager feel awkward. I highly recommend the book and I find it even better than Difficult Conversations or Crucial Conversations.

sjg007 5y ago

Are you communicating goals and expectations clearly?