Yep, you hit the nail on the head. In All-Star Superman, Lex Luthor was described as "not the smartest man in the room, but the smartest man in every room." Ori

Yep, you hit the nail on the head. In All-Star Superman, Lex Luthor was described as "not the smartest man in the room, but the smartest man in every room." Originally, that's how I wanted to be described, but s/smart/larg/. That evolved into the need to compete, and after finally taking first in a tested competition and finding it didn't bring me the fulfillment I'd been craving, I realized that external validation wouldn't help me see my body in a positive light and turned instead towards the goal of personal satisfaction. That might be the right lesson from after-school specials, but trying to self-validate through a mental lens that filters out all "positive" progress and highlights the shortcomings can't bring a person any real personal satisfaction- I needed to get help as well, and (fortunately) eventually I did.