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Gave up: - alcohol - marijuana - ecstacy - coke - amphetamines - cigarettes and vaping - all animal products (meat, leather, etc) - gluten - videogames - porn -

by basq 5y ago

Gave up: - alcohol - marijuana - ecstacy - coke - amphetamines - cigarettes and vaping - all animal products (meat, leather, etc) - gluten - videogames - porn - social media except reddit/hn - working Started: - lifting weights (sent on for two years before stopping due to covid gym closures) - running - reading recreationally (discovered I really enjoy sci fi), prior to that only read learning material like textbooks and documentation. The list goes on. I am in a constant state of reinvention. Deep down I am also miserable and always have been, hence the self medication, the constant quitting, and being in a seemingly permanent exploratory phase. I'm in my 30's and thought things would have made more sense by now. I can only superficially relate to others, even conversations with my 'best friends' are basically just small talk. I thought I was depressed but despite repeated visits to mental health professionals, none have been able to help: sessions amount to them just nodding and go 'wow... Well guess we'll see how you feel next visit' untiI I eventually stop going. Sorry if my post seems negative, the previous paragraph just sort of... emerged as I was reflecting on the things I've quit over the last few years.

moneywoes 5y ago
shit this is me
f0e4c2f7 5y ago
Hey friend - Good on you for quitting all that stuff. Thats just impressive. I have 2 book recommendations for you. One is The Culture Series if you haven't run into it. Some of my favorite scifi. I used to be the same way where I would read almost entirely nonfiction and started reading a bunch of scifi. I'm actually more likely to read fiction in general now. The other one is a book called "Feeling Great" by Dr. David Burns. It talks about some of the newer techniques he has developed. You may find the book itself to be helpful, or while reading it you might find it interesting to try to find a therapist who is using the TEAM-CBT technique he talks about in the book. There is also the Feeling Good podcast. I've only listened to a little bit of that so I can't recommend it or not. In any case. I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Remember that just because you feel this way now, doesn't mean that you'll always feel this way. Life has a lot of seasons.
zorrolovsky 5y ago
Your comment really resonates with me, many thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. There are two sides of the coin: you as an individual, and society. As an individual, you're doing the right things by focussing on playing your cards well. Running is much better in the long term than getting drunk or high, no question about that :) In regards to society, the reality is that consumerism have intentionally promoted narcissism, 'use and throw away' mentality, disloyalty and other character traits that lead to anxiety, perpetual insatisfaction and disconnection with others. No wonder why a large part of the population suffers from stress, anxiety, loneliness, etc. Most people over 40 I know are on some sort of mood-control drugs. We live in a world where companies are allowed to bombard people to a point where it's inevitable to live without seeing ads everywhere. It's not only the prevalence of ads which is problematic, it's the fact that those ads exploit brain weaknesses to make people unsatisfied with their life. Always desiring new things. Always thinking what they have is not enough, what they do is not enough because company ads and social media project images of people that are both false and unrealistic. All this for their own profit. Technology just made things worse by blending ads with information, and making us lose focus on the important stuff by requiring attention all the time. I find the ad-age repugnant and highly damaging to people. We're no longer able to connect with others at a deep level. We're no longer able to think with focus and perspective. We have 100 things in our mind that require urgent attention, so there's no time to be happy. People are now sitting in front of each other and not being able to really listen because their brain has other things in their mind. More than 90% of the people I know are unable to have a healthy level empathy and connect with others. Their noses are buried too deep in their belly buttons. For the 10% who listens and care, this world is a very frustrating and sad place. So they stop listening and caring, thus perpetuating the toxic cycle. The way I deal with this problem is by focussing on my own expectations. I no longer expect people to listen or care. I know humans are highly unloyal and unreliable these days, so I rather seek happiness elsewhere (philosophy, arts, knowledge, etc.). From a society's standpoint I became the misanthrope, anti-social hermit that no one wants to be around. And I couldn't be happier :) The moment I dropped desire and expectations to be 'normal', 'social', etc. my sadness and unhapiness went away. I hope you also find your own path, my friend.

by basq 5y ago

moneywoes 5y ago

shit this is me

f0e4c2f7 5y ago

Hey friend - Good on you for quitting all that stuff. Thats just impressive. I have 2 book recommendations for you. One is The Culture Series if you haven't run into it. Some of my favorite scifi. I used to be the same way where I would read almost entirely nonfiction and started reading a bunch of scifi. I'm actually more likely to read fiction in general now. The other one is a book called "Feeling Great" by Dr. David Burns. It talks about some of the newer techniques he has developed. You may find the book itself to be helpful, or while reading it you might find it interesting to try to find a therapist who is using the TEAM-CBT technique he talks about in the book. There is also the Feeling Good podcast. I've only listened to a little bit of that so I can't recommend it or not. In any case. I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Remember that just because you feel this way now, doesn't mean that you'll always feel this way. Life has a lot of seasons.

zorrolovsky 5y ago

Your comment really resonates with me, many thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. There are two sides of the coin: you as an individual, and society. As an individual, you're doing the right things by focussing on playing your cards well. Running is much better in the long term than getting drunk or high, no question about that :) In regards to society, the reality is that consumerism have intentionally promoted narcissism, 'use and throw away' mentality, disloyalty and other character traits that lead to anxiety, perpetual insatisfaction and disconnection with others. No wonder why a large part of the population suffers from stress, anxiety, loneliness, etc. Most people over 40 I know are on some sort of mood-control drugs. We live in a world where companies are allowed to bombard people to a point where it's inevitable to live without seeing ads everywhere. It's not only the prevalence of ads which is problematic, it's the fact that those ads exploit brain weaknesses to make people unsatisfied with their life. Always desiring new things. Always thinking what they have is not enough, what they do is not enough because company ads and social media project images of people that are both false and unrealistic. All this for their own profit. Technology just made things worse by blending ads with information, and making us lose focus on the important stuff by requiring attention all the time. I find the ad-age repugnant and highly damaging to people. We're no longer able to connect with others at a deep level. We're no longer able to think with focus and perspective. We have 100 things in our mind that require urgent attention, so there's no time to be happy. People are now sitting in front of each other and not being able to really listen because their brain has other things in their mind. More than 90% of the people I know are unable to have a healthy level empathy and connect with others. Their noses are buried too deep in their belly buttons. For the 10% who listens and care, this world is a very frustrating and sad place. So they stop listening and caring, thus perpetuating the toxic cycle. The way I deal with this problem is by focussing on my own expectations. I no longer expect people to listen or care. I know humans are highly unloyal and unreliable these days, so I rather seek happiness elsewhere (philosophy, arts, knowledge, etc.). From a society's standpoint I became the misanthrope, anti-social hermit that no one wants to be around. And I couldn't be happier :) The moment I dropped desire and expectations to be 'normal', 'social', etc. my sadness and unhapiness went away. I hope you also find your own path, my friend.