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Arguing to win. I read "Crucial Conversations" around the time I turned 35 and it changed how I manage conflict in my relationships. These days I always first
by notjustanymike 5y ago
Arguing to win.
I read "Crucial Conversations" around the time I turned 35 and it changed how I manage conflict in my relationships. These days I always first try and understand why someone is upset (pro-tip: it's frequently not what they lead with).
- Rendello 5y agoOne of my favourite lines form Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People": > You can't win an argument. You can't because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it I also love this more general one from Marcus Aurelius' Meditations: > A cucumber is bitter. Throw it away. There are briars in the road. Turn aside from them. This is enough. Do not add, "And why were such things made in the world?"
- jldl805 5y agoAlso the fifth (and most important and effective, IMO) Habit: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
- CodeWriter23 5y ago> These days I always first try and understand why someone is upset aka “Seek to understand before seeking to be understood”. I’m an atheist who happens to find great value in the St. Francis Prayer.
- jldl805 5y agoJust wanted to let you know that I read this book on your recommendation and think it's among the best self-help books I've ever read. At least as important as 7 Habits, which was my previous favorite. Thanks for the tip.