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This story looks borne from the helicopter parenting theme. Some kids learn some things slower and it eventually cleared up. But with helicopter parenting he

This story looks borne from the helicopter parenting theme. Some kids learn some things slower and it eventually cleared up. But with helicopter parenting he was sent to pre school and all this reverse psychoanalysis was done. It’s not wrong and it’s borne from parents caring about their kids, but letting them be kids is cool as well.

freetime2 5y ago
> This did not become a long term issue for him. I made sure he felt safe during this minor ladybug invasion and when he got older he figured out where and how he had jumped to the wrong conclusion and it was never a big deal. But it could have been, especially if I had not made sure to make him feel safe and protected and take his fear seriously even though I knew there was no real threat. I also got a helicopter parenting vibe from this article. Particularly the way she seems to be crediting her parental decisions with the child not developing “long term issues” from having some ladybugs in their bedroom. I don’t have any issues with her decision to let her son sleep in her bedroom for a couple days (and I might have done the same). She just seems to be overvaluing the importance of her response in this situation, and undervaluing kids’ natural ability to develop and outgrow their fears.
- toxik 5y ago
  It’s very common for people to overvalue their own contribution to positive outcomes. I know I do, sometimes I can see myself doing it, but it doesn’t take away the feeling that it’s true. I see it in my parents-in-law too, they think they taught my kid do something new or they saw a behavior first where we (the parents) have seen it for forming weeks. I think it’s important to let it pass, it helps us feel involved and meaningful.
jgilias 5y ago
This is a bit unfair though. The general advice I've seen is that if a kid doesn't start forming simple sentences by the age of three, parents should start looking for help. Reason being, a delay in speech development may later lead to other problems, among them life-long speech impediments. As a stutterer myself, I can attest that having these are no fun. Also, pre-school is beneficial for development in general. They start learning how to function as part of a wider society there. The only 'mistake' I can identify in the article was going for the 'on-off' pre-school regimen. According to some experts in child development I've spoken to (Montessori method), predictability of routine is paramount to healthy development. If the child is 'on-off', he/she doesn't really become a core part of the 'pre-school society', has trouble making friends, and in general it messes with their little heads that there is no predictability on how their day or week is going to go. But helicopter parenting? No, not really.
- saiya-jin 5y ago
  I definitely get that vibe from the article. I can see those kind of mothers around me too - outwardly they seem strong and successful (inwardly not satisfied nor happy with their life, if you ever have the chance to know them better), but they very often measure and compare their kids with other. Life is a race with rest of mankind to them and they transfer their mindset to their kids. Needless to say the effect it has on kids is rarely positive long term. The whole piece basically feels like a humblebrag how great mother she is and how she made all the right choices. It doesn't contradict what you say per se - kids can have development impediments, and there are dedicated experts to help them. Did she ever reached to those? Nah, she knows the best whats good for her kids. Again, one of those described above. (The older I get the more I see how people are just few certain 'types' and few subtypes and once they are in certain category, they almost always behave in predictable patterns for given category. Once you are familiar with those, rarely can anybody surprise you with their behavior. This is certainly one of the types I meet)
  - rednalexa 5y ago
    I think that you are overgeneralizing people a little too much. Particularly your comment that people fall into particular subtypes, and if you know these types you will rarely be surprised by their behavior. This type of thinking can easily be supported by your experiences because of confirmation bias, but I think people will typically have unique reasons for their actions.
ArkanExplorer 5y ago
I'm also getting the impression the kid was raised without a father, based on the fact that one is never referenced.
- rednalexa 5y ago
  Other entries in the blog mention she has a military husband.

freetime2 5y ago

> This did not become a long term issue for him. I made sure he felt safe during this minor ladybug invasion and when he got older he figured out where and how he had jumped to the wrong conclusion and it was never a big deal. But it could have been, especially if I had not made sure to make him feel safe and protected and take his fear seriously even though I knew there was no real threat. I also got a helicopter parenting vibe from this article. Particularly the way she seems to be crediting her parental decisions with the child not developing “long term issues” from having some ladybugs in their bedroom. I don’t have any issues with her decision to let her son sleep in her bedroom for a couple days (and I might have done the same). She just seems to be overvaluing the importance of her response in this situation, and undervaluing kids’ natural ability to develop and outgrow their fears.

toxik 5y ago
It’s very common for people to overvalue their own contribution to positive outcomes. I know I do, sometimes I can see myself doing it, but it doesn’t take away the feeling that it’s true. I see it in my parents-in-law too, they think they taught my kid do something new or they saw a behavior first where we (the parents) have seen it for forming weeks. I think it’s important to let it pass, it helps us feel involved and meaningful.

jgilias 5y ago

This is a bit unfair though. The general advice I've seen is that if a kid doesn't start forming simple sentences by the age of three, parents should start looking for help. Reason being, a delay in speech development may later lead to other problems, among them life-long speech impediments. As a stutterer myself, I can attest that having these are no fun. Also, pre-school is beneficial for development in general. They start learning how to function as part of a wider society there. The only 'mistake' I can identify in the article was going for the 'on-off' pre-school regimen. According to some experts in child development I've spoken to (Montessori method), predictability of routine is paramount to healthy development. If the child is 'on-off', he/she doesn't really become a core part of the 'pre-school society', has trouble making friends, and in general it messes with their little heads that there is no predictability on how their day or week is going to go. But helicopter parenting? No, not really.

saiya-jin 5y ago
I definitely get that vibe from the article. I can see those kind of mothers around me too - outwardly they seem strong and successful (inwardly not satisfied nor happy with their life, if you ever have the chance to know them better), but they very often measure and compare their kids with other. Life is a race with rest of mankind to them and they transfer their mindset to their kids. Needless to say the effect it has on kids is rarely positive long term. The whole piece basically feels like a humblebrag how great mother she is and how she made all the right choices. It doesn't contradict what you say per se - kids can have development impediments, and there are dedicated experts to help them. Did she ever reached to those? Nah, she knows the best whats good for her kids. Again, one of those described above. (The older I get the more I see how people are just few certain 'types' and few subtypes and once they are in certain category, they almost always behave in predictable patterns for given category. Once you are familiar with those, rarely can anybody surprise you with their behavior. This is certainly one of the types I meet)
- rednalexa 5y ago
  I think that you are overgeneralizing people a little too much. Particularly your comment that people fall into particular subtypes, and if you know these types you will rarely be surprised by their behavior. This type of thinking can easily be supported by your experiences because of confirmation bias, but I think people will typically have unique reasons for their actions.

ArkanExplorer 5y ago

I'm also getting the impression the kid was raised without a father, based on the fact that one is never referenced.

rednalexa 5y ago
Other entries in the blog mention she has a military husband.