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People will laugh but playing golf has increased my social circle by a wide amount. I play golf with different people all the time. I play 2-3 times a week. We

People will laugh but playing golf has increased my social circle by a wide amount. I play golf with different people all the time. I play 2-3 times a week. We have a core group of people 10-12 that always play together. Would join in golf trips going to play different places around the world. Huge age difference in the group. People in mid 20's all the way up to some who just turned 80. Gotta find that hobby and then find that group of people.

moltar 5y ago
But are they real friends or just circles of interest?
- bobf 5y ago
  What is a "real friend" then? Many would argue that shared interests or experiences can certainly be the basis of at least some level of friendship. There are certainly some people who might claim that the label of "real friend" only applies to those you could "trust to help bury a body", or some other extremely unlikely/intense situation. Like most things, the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. There are likely varying degrees of friendship. Qualifying them as "real" (or not) comes across more like the informal logical fallacy of an appeal to purity (e.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_Scotsman https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_Scotsman) than anything.
  - sliken 5y ago
    Real friends will help out, not just greet you in a shared setting. Would they buy you lunch if you forgot your wallet? Loan you their vehicle? Help you move? Visit you in the hospital if you broke your leg? Actively try to help you with life in general? As the saying goes when the chips are down, you will know who your true friends are.
    - nate_meurer 5y ago
      And it means you often have to discover this the hard way, which can lead to some brutal surprises.
- tkojames 5y ago
  A few of the older guys have been playing together for probably more than 20 years at least twice month over that time. A round at our club is about 4 hours. So something like over 2500 hours spent between them. One guy was moving and another wanted to move closer to golf course where a few of the guys lived. So they sold the house to them for below market rate. That seems like "real" friends to me. I could easily not play with these people. But we all try and play together. We always ask each other how are families are. What we have been up to. How is work etc. I can not think of anything that is more of real friend. Sure I am closer to some than others. But if I asked any of them for help with something They would help the best they can.
  - sliken 5y ago
    Sounds great, paradoxically I've heard one of the ways to improve friendships is to ask more of them. While it seems selfish, it can improve the friendship and of course they are more likely to ask more of you in the future.
    - lotsofpulp 5y ago
      For this to work, you also have to have to be able to offer something to them of similar value.

moltar 5y ago

But are they real friends or just circles of interest?

bobf 5y ago
What is a "real friend" then? Many would argue that shared interests or experiences can certainly be the basis of at least some level of friendship. There are certainly some people who might claim that the label of "real friend" only applies to those you could "trust to help bury a body", or some other extremely unlikely/intense situation. Like most things, the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. There are likely varying degrees of friendship. Qualifying them as "real" (or not) comes across more like the informal logical fallacy of an appeal to purity (e.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_Scotsman https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_Scotsman) than anything.
- sliken 5y ago
  Real friends will help out, not just greet you in a shared setting. Would they buy you lunch if you forgot your wallet? Loan you their vehicle? Help you move? Visit you in the hospital if you broke your leg? Actively try to help you with life in general? As the saying goes when the chips are down, you will know who your true friends are.
  - nate_meurer 5y ago
    And it means you often have to discover this the hard way, which can lead to some brutal surprises.
tkojames 5y ago
A few of the older guys have been playing together for probably more than 20 years at least twice month over that time. A round at our club is about 4 hours. So something like over 2500 hours spent between them. One guy was moving and another wanted to move closer to golf course where a few of the guys lived. So they sold the house to them for below market rate. That seems like "real" friends to me. I could easily not play with these people. But we all try and play together. We always ask each other how are families are. What we have been up to. How is work etc. I can not think of anything that is more of real friend. Sure I am closer to some than others. But if I asked any of them for help with something They would help the best they can.
- sliken 5y ago
  Sounds great, paradoxically I've heard one of the ways to improve friendships is to ask more of them. While it seems selfish, it can improve the friendship and of course they are more likely to ask more of you in the future.
  - lotsofpulp 5y ago
    For this to work, you also have to have to be able to offer something to them of similar value.