3 ms·

> Don't open the app to read the message until you have time to respond, then commit to responding. Then you end up with unread messages for weeks at a time.

smt88 5y ago
> Then you end up with unread messages for weeks at a time. If people are a priority for you, then you need to just make time. No one is unable to spare 5 minutes to text back. You just have to sacrifice 5 minutes of something else, whether it's work, a video game, or a hobby. If you can't spare that, then I guess accept that those people aren't that important to you.
- jlokier 5y ago
  It takes many of us longer than 5 minutes to compose the BEST response (part of option 2), especially if you have a queue built up.
  - kumarjsingh6 5y ago
    It takes years to compose the best response
  - antasvara 5y ago
    5 minutes might be too short, but the idea of waiting until you have time to fully respond makes sense.
  - aix1 5y ago
    Perhaps composing the BEST response isn't the right tradeoff vs being available for your friends and not leaving them hanging? A person I'm close to does this (takes days/weeks to respond to anything). Important as they are to me, I've basically written them off as someone I can rely on.
  - smt88 5y ago
    The "best" response doesn't objectively exist, but if it did, it would be a function of both time and quality. For example, when you take 24 hours to respond, the message you're sending is that the person is a low priority, regardless of what text you've composed. People who feel that anxious about composing the best reply should seek therapy to help them tolerate the distress of doing things imperfectly.
  - Zababa 5y ago
    Some perspective: sometimes the best response is signalling to people that they're important to you and that getting back to them quickly is important to you.
- randomdata 5y ago
  > I guess accept that those people aren't that important to you. The great irony is that when they aren't important, the response is quick and easy. Your poor choice of words can piss them off and you don't have to care.

smt88 5y ago

> Then you end up with unread messages for weeks at a time. If people are a priority for you, then you need to just make time. No one is unable to spare 5 minutes to text back. You just have to sacrifice 5 minutes of something else, whether it's work, a video game, or a hobby. If you can't spare that, then I guess accept that those people aren't that important to you.

jlokier 5y ago
It takes many of us longer than 5 minutes to compose the BEST response (part of option 2), especially if you have a queue built up.
- kumarjsingh6 5y ago
  It takes years to compose the best response
- antasvara 5y ago
  5 minutes might be too short, but the idea of waiting until you have time to fully respond makes sense.
- aix1 5y ago
  Perhaps composing the BEST response isn't the right tradeoff vs being available for your friends and not leaving them hanging? A person I'm close to does this (takes days/weeks to respond to anything). Important as they are to me, I've basically written them off as someone I can rely on.
- smt88 5y ago
  The "best" response doesn't objectively exist, but if it did, it would be a function of both time and quality. For example, when you take 24 hours to respond, the message you're sending is that the person is a low priority, regardless of what text you've composed. People who feel that anxious about composing the best reply should seek therapy to help them tolerate the distress of doing things imperfectly.
- Zababa 5y ago
  Some perspective: sometimes the best response is signalling to people that they're important to you and that getting back to them quickly is important to you.
randomdata 5y ago
> I guess accept that those people aren't that important to you. The great irony is that when they aren't important, the response is quick and easy. Your poor choice of words can piss them off and you don't have to care.