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I came to this thread earlier and thought I'd taken crazy pills, so I'd check back later. Not a single non-positive comment. People who use this or think this

by snet0 5y ago

I came to this thread earlier and thought I'd taken crazy pills, so I'd check back later. Not a single non-positive comment. People who use this or think this is a good thing have fundamentally misunderstood social interaction. Your girlfriend doesn't want the signal that you care, she wants you to actually care, and keeping in contact is an expression of caring. If you need to forge something this foundational, I'm sorry but that's not being introverted, that's treating social interaction as a game or trade. I feel like it's bordering on psychopathy.

grayfaced 5y ago
I mostly agree. When I'm focused on something, I tend to isolate myself. I forget to contact people. I care but I'm just distracted. I would prefer reminders of "You haven't called your Mom in X days". Set configurable threshholds of how often you want to contact different people but still require you to actually do it.
- snet0 5y ago
  This is a symptom of caring too much about what you're focused on, though. While I appreciate that sometimes it's easy to forget important things, I think if you need inorganic means to remember to call your mother, you need to take a moment to actually consider that, rather than looking for the nearest software "solution".
  - fastball 5y ago
    Not everyone's brain works in the same way as yours, that doesn't make them a sociopath.
- binkHN 5y ago
  For what it’s worth, the app, by default, will not take any action and largely act as a helpful reminder, and I highly recommend this type of use.
fastball 5y ago
I think the part you're missing is that this is supposed to be followed up by actual conversations and interactions. There are a great many friends where Life Happens™ and although I genuinely care about them, I haven't contacted them in months / years (and vice versa) because I'm not generally the type to initiate small-talk. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy catching up with friends and going over the little things in our lives, it's just not something I naturally do. Having an app that helps you keep in touch with the people you care about (if you don't care why would you bother to set up an app) seems helpful. And I think stating that this is not introversion but more like psychopathy is a bit beyond the pale. It can be hard for introverts to kickstart conversations with people they haven't talked to in a while for various reasons, none of which are "because they're a sociopath". They might feel like they're intruding or they might have confidence issues which cause them to feel that messaging people out of the blue will make them seem weird, even if neither of those things are actually true from the other person's perspective.
- spicybright 5y ago
  This app won't last long enough to remind you to message year old dormant relationships, so if that's important one should find something else. I also don't see how an automated message helps you keep in touch though. It seems like people with a lot of this anxiety will just fiddle with the settings exactly like they fiddle typing out drafts they never send.
- tssva 5y ago
  It may not be because they are being a sociopath but it also isn't just because of being an introvert. What you are describing is social anxiety which some introverts have and others do not.
  - fastball 5y ago
    Nobody said all introverts ("can be hard"). I think you'd classify anyone with social anxiety as an introvert. Therefore this is a problem that introverts have.
    - 5y ago
wruza 5y ago
It’s the same level of psychopathy which demands your “genuine care and interest” in a society where the worst everyday risk is spilling coffee on your desk. Many childish psychopaths (who often call themselves extroverts) simply like you to do these things, they feel great when you put aside everything and message or reply to them on a nonsensical topic like “where you at” or “what you’re doing”. Most people who I attribute to “normal”, and I mean most people in general, never required it. No offense to anyone, but if you’re vocal and succesful at consuming lots of attention, it doesn’t automagically mean that your behavior is healthy.

by snet0 5y ago

grayfaced 5y ago

I mostly agree. When I'm focused on something, I tend to isolate myself. I forget to contact people. I care but I'm just distracted. I would prefer reminders of "You haven't called your Mom in X days". Set configurable threshholds of how often you want to contact different people but still require you to actually do it.

snet0 5y ago
This is a symptom of caring too much about what you're focused on, though. While I appreciate that sometimes it's easy to forget important things, I think if you need inorganic means to remember to call your mother, you need to take a moment to actually consider that, rather than looking for the nearest software "solution".
- fastball 5y ago
  Not everyone's brain works in the same way as yours, that doesn't make them a sociopath.
binkHN 5y ago
For what it’s worth, the app, by default, will not take any action and largely act as a helpful reminder, and I highly recommend this type of use.

fastball 5y ago

I think the part you're missing is that this is supposed to be followed up by actual conversations and interactions. There are a great many friends where Life Happens™ and although I genuinely care about them, I haven't contacted them in months / years (and vice versa) because I'm not generally the type to initiate small-talk. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy catching up with friends and going over the little things in our lives, it's just not something I naturally do. Having an app that helps you keep in touch with the people you care about (if you don't care why would you bother to set up an app) seems helpful. And I think stating that this is not introversion but more like psychopathy is a bit beyond the pale. It can be hard for introverts to kickstart conversations with people they haven't talked to in a while for various reasons, none of which are "because they're a sociopath". They might feel like they're intruding or they might have confidence issues which cause them to feel that messaging people out of the blue will make them seem weird, even if neither of those things are actually true from the other person's perspective.

spicybright 5y ago
This app won't last long enough to remind you to message year old dormant relationships, so if that's important one should find something else. I also don't see how an automated message helps you keep in touch though. It seems like people with a lot of this anxiety will just fiddle with the settings exactly like they fiddle typing out drafts they never send.
tssva 5y ago
It may not be because they are being a sociopath but it also isn't just because of being an introvert. What you are describing is social anxiety which some introverts have and others do not.
- fastball 5y ago
  Nobody said all introverts ("can be hard"). I think you'd classify anyone with social anxiety as an introvert. Therefore this is a problem that introverts have.
  - 5y ago

wruza 5y ago

It’s the same level of psychopathy which demands your “genuine care and interest” in a society where the worst everyday risk is spilling coffee on your desk. Many childish psychopaths (who often call themselves extroverts) simply like you to do these things, they feel great when you put aside everything and message or reply to them on a nonsensical topic like “where you at” or “what you’re doing”. Most people who I attribute to “normal”, and I mean most people in general, never required it. No offense to anyone, but if you’re vocal and succesful at consuming lots of attention, it doesn’t automagically mean that your behavior is healthy.